a Canadian in Riyadh

His Cheatin' Heart

2011-01-03T02:32:00.013+03:00

Expat wives who have husbands moving to Saudi for work fall into two camps - one that hears preemptive warnings against leaving your husband alone in Riyadh, and the other that hears this when they arrive. Sooner or later every woman hears about the 17 year marriage that fell apart when the husband moved to Saudi Arabia and cheated on his wife.

Why you ask? Why would a faithful loving husband suddenly throw away his long term marriage for some romp in the sack with a hussy homewrecking nurse? Well there are a lot of factors but the number one cause from your anonymous internet expert is loneliness. There is really no kind of isolation quite like the Riyadh variety, and with the culture shock and work stress, a man can really disintegrate at an alarming rate into a blubbering mess in dire need of intimacy, cuddling, and...we'll call it "coochicoo"

Of course there are a few additional factors that I think are unique to this environment that make expat men especially prone to cheating in Saudi.

There is a kind of "macho culture" in Riyadh - men generally associate with the men from their offices or compounds and there are just not enough women around to keep them gentlemen. Not that this occurs in every office, but the lack of women in the workplace can lead to some men talking smack and convincing each other stupid ideas are actually good ones. There are a lot of security contractors out here, and when a group of macho guys gets together for a party... let's just say they are not painting their nails and giggling about Gossip Girl all night.

You know how Catholic students are always famous for being oversexed and repressed? Riyadh is Catholic school on a grand scale. The segregation of sexes and resulting lack of visual and social contact between men and women adds to the pressure cooker that boils over when certain parties provide opportunities for both genders to let loose.

Let's not blame it all on the guys and the parties because there are some nothing-to-lose women on the prowl in Riyadh too, and they are just as lonely and desperate for coochicoo as any man is. Single women in Riyadh? Yes! There are plenty, and they are usually either nurses or teachers.

To be fair, it's not all because of the Saudi environment, there are of course the universal factors such as long distance being difficult in general, and many relationships having deep cracks in them to begin with. If a couple has trust issues or faithfulness issues or I-settled-when-I-married-you issues, Riyadh is probably not a great idea no matter how good the money is.

I write all this because my hubster is a two timing cheatin' liar and I'm going to Bobbitt him later tonight. I jest. We are trucking along as we always have partly because I'm married to Jesus. I suppose I don't have any real motivation for posting on this topic other than hearing one too many stories of coupledom crumbling. It's probably more therapeutic to put on a Pixar movie than to blog about it, but heck I'm in a mood. And now you're in one. You're welcome ;)

stereotypes

2011-01-02T04:52:00.013+03:00

I'm posting a random thought because I'm back in the Kingdom for a visit and thought I was overdue for a blurb.

One thing that expats pick up in abundance in Saudi are stereotypes. It's a natural consequence of being thrown into compounds and work with people from all over the world. It's in human nature I think to look for social patterns so that we feel we have more control and understanding in our interactions, and that can be difficult to keep sorted out with so many nationalities around.

Say for example you want to invite someone over for a party. After living here you begin to take a log of your interactions with various cultures and can predict with some accuracy how different people will respond. If you invite an American, they'll probably enthusiastically agree to it, talk about how great it's going to be all week, and then 80% of the time they'll show up as long as no better party crops up. If you ask a German and they say yes, they will be there without fail and at exactly the time you tell them. If you ask a Brit, they'll give a tentative answer and take some time to deconstruct how much they actually like you, and if they don't like you, how important you are and then give you a formal decision a few days before the party. If you ask a Saudi and they say "inshallah" it means they are not coming. If you ask a Saudi and they say they will be there, then they will come an hour later than everyone else or at 9:00pm, whichever is later. If you ask your Indian driver, fifty percent of the time they will nod their heads and agree but will not show up because they didn't understand you, and the other half of the time they will decline because they know they will feel out of place and uncomfortable. If you ask a Philipino to come, they will ask if they can bring a friend, then show up with ten friends, some rice, fish and a karaoke machine. If you ask a French-from-Paris to come, they'll turn you down because you didn't ask in French, and because you are clearly not French. If you ask any other Frenchman, they will show up with amazing home made food that will put your selection to shame.

Canadians are somewhere in between the American and the British response and because Canadians are often made up of different ethnicities that will play into it as well. But as a sidenote let me give you a tip. If you invite a Canadian to your party and start loudly making fun of the way they say "about" for a protracted period of time, they will laugh politely at your joke pretending that wasn't the millionth time they've heard it, and then they'll mark a huge mental X beside your name under the category "Hate You Forever Pigface Heathen" This hostility stems from an underlying desire every Canadian has to "blend in" and also from the intractable frustration of not being able to hear the difference between an American "about" and a Canadian one.

Of course I am generalizing...there will always be exceptions, and not only that, there are class distinctions and geographical considerations as well. New Yorkers are very different from Californians, not that you'll ever meet a Californian in Riyadh. There are massive differences between upper class Saudis, lower class Saudis, old fashioned super religious Saudis, and younger (often educated-abroad) progressive Saudis. Then there are Brits who went to London private schools, and working class Brits. Etc etc. I could go on forever but...I'll spare you the pain, and now you and I can both go do something more interesting.

transitions

2010-09-12T06:12:00.003+03:00

Riyadh is undoubtedly a place of transition for most Westerners. It's generally not a place where people end up staying forever because essentially people run out of patience for the restrictive way of life or they go batty or they get depressed or their marriages collapse or their wild/outrageous secrets are aired and they get fired dramatically. Fortunately, my reasons for leaving are mainly tied to number one. Yes, you've read me right - my time in Saudi is officially over, though I will still be visiting occasionally. I knew one day that the light at the end of the tunnel would finally be within reach, and now that I am basking in the glow of freedom again, I can confirm beyond a shred of doubt, that freedom tastes like bacon covered brandy filled chocolates fed to you by a lesbian bikini-clad couple to the singing stylings of Journey.

Whether it's two years or twenty, everyone reaches a tipping point in Riyadh when they just know their time is up. There's a common saying that circulates in different forms in the expat community - that you come to Saudi with two suitcases: one for money and the other for "crap" (there are many variations on how to describe the contents of this second suitcase), and when one of them fills up that's when you know it's time to leave. Somehow our suitcase for money seems to have a hole in it, and our suitcase with the other stuff...well we've filled about five of them. But a double dip recession threatens to leave us with no suitcases at all if we leave without a plan in place. So basically hubster is staying, while I prepare the nest ahead of him. If we weren't so disgustingly in love, I would be worried...

I feel very flattered that some of you are still checking in here and there for updates from me, and so I must apologize for the long delay. Gee this is where I suppose I should write something articulate expressing my gratitude to all you faithful readers out there, but I just can't seem to come up with something wry and witty. So let me just say thanks for reading, thanks for the comments, and thanks for giving me a reason to get out of bed in the mornings (ok it was afternoons) and to sneak pictures at malls. Thrill of a lifetime, I tell ya, sneaking around with that camera.

So this is my sayonara for now. I'm sure I'll be back with other observations next time I'm local again, so hopefully I'll hear from you all again sometime soon.

abaya free zones

2010-08-02T12:25:00.002+03:00

hello hello! Well I am back from a trip and want to thank any of you who were worried that I stopped blogging because I had killed myself. Besides. My preferred method involves a car and a closed garage, neither of which I have access to at the moment.

...okay ANYWAY. I've been meaning to post about this for a while because for me any time I get to take my abaya off, it makes me feel that much more at home. When I first showed up I thought that I had to wear it any time I was outside the compound walls. And actually even this was a little matter of confusion for me: what exactly constitutes "outside the compound"??? Compounds typically have an outer gate and an inner gate, and "outside the compound" generally means "outside the inner gate" - and if you choose to disrobe or fling your buttons open (you hussy!!) between the outer gate and inner gate, you may have to prepare yourself for some confrontation with the guards.

Out in public, it may surprise you to learn that you are free to take off your abayas at restaurants, albeit you have to be inside a booth in the family section with the curtains drawn. Although A/C is usually so powerful in this country that you may want to keep it on. One unwritten rule is that in certain ritzy hotels and their restaurants, you may be able to take your abaya off, but the safest thing to do is ask management first, though I would recommend keeping your shoulders and knees covered. For international departures and arrivals, there is also leniency. And if you are a golfer, you are also expected to leave your abaya in the car. Please don't quote me on these things as hard and fast rules, but these are just general guidelines, and if a muttawa shows up and asks you to cover yourself, I have a hunch that he will not be interested in hearing what you read on the internet.

so THAT'S why they don't fly Saudia...

2010-07-12T01:08:00.003+03:00

I finally made a trip to the main Saudi Arabian Airlines office in Riyadh. The reason being that the flight I requested was not available as an electronic ticket, so I had to get a paper one. Lemme give you a piece of advice. If you find out you can't get an electronic ticket, do not bother with Saudia, because for the money you will save with the cheap flight, you will be paying out emotionally and with your time instead.

After being informed by the booking assistance Saudia guy on the phone that I needed to go to a travel agent or saudia office to get my ticket, I asked my husband's office runner to help make a booking. In the evening I proceeded to Saudia head office (the big one off King Fahad near Panda Supermarket). If you have never seen a typical Saudia travel agent work, let me paint the scene for you: a Saudia employee sits expressionless and motionless staring blankly at a computer screen while you approach the counter - he types so slow you have to double check whether you are in real time or whether you have slipped into a slow motion wormhole - he gives you a number that reads 87 while the electronic counter behind him reads 70 - ten minutes later he is still in the exact same position serving the exact same customer - you realize you could be there all night. The office was just stuffed with people, a total mess, and the men's section was a million times worse. After hearing that a friend had waited six hours at that very office, I decided to leave and tackle the task the next day.

The next morning, due to a lack of consensus on where I could pick up my ticket, I visited three different travel agencies and a Saudia office near the airbase, only to be sent right back to the Saudi head office. Finally I resigned myself to the fate of sitting in the pile and took a number from the front desk. Once I got to the counter, it took another twenty minutes to get my precious paper ticket.

My advice if you still decide you want to risk visiting this office is: 1)get the lady in your life to go 2)make sure you have your passport 3)make sure you get a number directly from the employee as they have stopped distributing them from the dispensers 4)go in the morning 5)bring a book or something to stab yourself with, anything to relieve the boredom!

I have heard really mixed things about Saudi Arabian Airlines. On the one hand, some people say the flights are on time and have good leg room. On the other hand, I've heard that VIP's and HRH's that show up last minute are given priority over proper ticket holders who get bumped off their flights, and the planes seem to have more unsoothed toddlers on them wreaking havoc. And now I have witnessed the abomination that is their head office...hmmm....

You speak english?

2010-07-10T01:36:00.006+03:00

So I think one of the good things about Saudi Arabia that isn't mentioned enough is how much English is spoken here. Many of the major road signs and signs in the malls are written in both English and Arabic. Even your trip to the grocery store is aided by bilingual signs and bilingual labels on products. You can bank in English, get your internet set up in English, basically live your life in Riyadh in English. My Riyadh readers must think I am a little insane suggesting this, but actually I feel quite grateful that enough people speak my native tongue here that I can get by in my day to day life without having too much difficulty with language barriers.

Don't get me wrong, it can definitely try your patience when you have a communication breakdown with your driver. Questions that you know for a fact cannot be answered with 'yes' or 'no' (e.g. 'where the hell are we?') can and will be answered with 'yes' in the car when a driver doesn't understand you. As far as I am concerned, this is the international test of English: ask a question that begins with who, what, where, when, or why. If the person answers 'yes', it means they do NOT speak English and though they may look nice, they will NOT be able to help you!

But on the whole I find it astounding how many people in this country are bilingual or trilingual. I am most ashamedly monolingual despite having two official languages in Canada. The truth is that we are only truly bilingual in pockets and the vast majority of us are English-speaking with an elementary school sprinkling of French stored somewhere in the back of our brains. Here is a random sampling of my French: je ne sais pas mon ami, mais ou est le gateau? Le fromage est dans la salle de bain avec le croque monsieur chateau frontenac louis riel decoupage cuisinart.

=D

Luthan Spa

2010-07-06T11:12:00.008+03:00

Ladies! I went to the Luthan Spa for the first time this week and it was more fabulous than I thought it would be and just had to share. I went with a very dear girlfriend of mine, which made it a lot of fun because we got to dissect the experience as it happened. Ok, so the first remark I have to make is that this spa was very nice. It had that mmmmm spa smell and it was decently decorated.

Here is the locker room where we took off our clothes and took pictures of each other. Now now, we had robes on. I know this might sound ridiculous to some of you, but my friend and I had a discussion on how much clothing we thought we should wear under our robes. In the end, it was no different than any other spa in the West.

The photo snapping came to an abrupt halt in the lounge area after we were told to put our cameras away, which I suppose should have been obvious. Due to my deep commitment to this blog and to you, my dear readers, I secretly took pictures anyway ha ha ha suckers. Check out the relaxation room! It had individual water beds where you could rest from all the hard spa work!

We got a tour of the facilities and there was an impressive collection of specialized treatment rooms for an array of therapies, like Ayurvedic treatments, Balinese massages, and Mermaid MRI. Ok, it wasn't a Mermaid MRI, it was a heated waterbed massage thingy, but the full body machine was in the shape of sparkly shell. I swear it on my life. They also had quite a selection of steam and sauna rooms in the pool area with different themes, like a Moroccan Hammam and an herbal sauna that smelled like heaven. None of the treatment rooms were set up for more than one person, so that's something to keep in mind if you go with a friend. You ain't gonna be yapping through your mud wraps unless you make good conversation with walls and ceilings (I admit this happens at home sometimes). You will also want to book in advance if you are getting a package done because even though the spa looked pretty dang empty when we got there, they insisted it was a busy day.

Anywho I had a wonderful massage there, a hair treatment, a facial, and a back mud wrap. They were all very nice, barring the painful bits during the facial, and it really was a wonderful day, made even better by the company I had with me!

Luthan Spa website

the curious case of cryptic closures

2010-07-05T00:50:00.007+03:00

Crazy caption?

I'm talking about this strange phenomenon in Riyadh where we find stores, restaurants, and retailers in general closed for no apparent reason. Y'all know what I'm talking about? With the exception of the 'safety' hours between 10am - 12pm, and 4pm - 6pm, I often feel I am rolling the dice in attempting to visit a retail space. I say this because even when you have the exact prayer times in front of you, sometimes you can arrive at a place to find it closed, and you will not have the luxury of an explanation.

Take for instance last night. Hubster and I came out of an appointment downtown at 7:45pm. We got into our driver's car and decided to head somewhere to eat. In the car we checked the prayer times on the internet, the next one being at 8:17pm. Perfect, we had just enough time to get settled and order somewhere. At a traffic light, we saw Tony Roma's and decided we wanted to eat there. So we jumped out of the car and raced across the street to it only to find that at 8:00pm all the lights were off, the curtains were drawn, the place was closed. We called our driver to make a U-turn and hopped back in the car confused. So we had the wrong prayer time?? Nope. Hubster double checked, it was 8:17pm, Tony Roma's just decided to close for god only knows what reason. At this point our choices were to eat an expensive meal at a hotel where prayer is not observed, eat cheap garbage quickly at a mall food court, or go home. So we went home.

We once visited a mattress store on three separate occasions deliberately trying different days and different hours to see if it would be open, but it never was. The last time we went, there was a single light on, taunting us, as if to say, 'wouldn't you like to know who turned this one light on? well he is in a place called Not Here.'

Well anyways, one reason why some stores are closed in the afternoon is because many retailers choose to have split hours that run from 9am - 12pm and then 4pm till 8pm-ish. The other closures I just chalk up to randomness. Coming from Canada where hours are clearly marked on doors and websites, and employees answer phones when you call them, I just can't describe the level of confusion I felt when I first moved here and began encountering this regularly. On the whole it just means you need to put some planning into eating out or visiting certain stores in the evening, but some days I miss the spontaneity of just being able to wing it and have simple things work out. One respite is that all the major grocery stores appear to be exempt from this random closure thing, so I am at least uber thankful for that.

You would think we should be used to sidestepping prayer by now. True, we've gotten much better, but as you can see, we are not always successful - even after a year and a half!

Riyadh Recipe for Spectacle

2010-07-01T03:19:00.005+03:00

Whisk together in a large bowl:
1 cup waiting for hubster to finish work
1 cup driving through heavy traffic to pick up hubster
2 cups hunger
2 TBSP waiting for hubster to come out of office
1/4 cup driving to wrong restaurant
2 cups walking to right restaurant
5 cups simmering Saudi heat

Pour mixture into large pot & place on stove on high heat. Then pour in:
1 TSP miscalculation of prayer time
3 TBSP staring at closed restaurant
1/4 cup of restaurant remaining closed while everything else opens

Bring mixture to a boil. Pour out onto sidewalk.

If you have followed the recipe correctly, you should see a woman loudly and repeatedly knocking on the glass door of a dark restaurant with shades drawn, with hubster standing a ways back holding inner counsel on whether intervention is worthwhile or hazardous. Next, you should see the shades slowly pull up, watch the door unlock, and see the woman walk into a room full of quiet restaurant employees staring at her while she pretends nothing has happened.

You may wish to garnish this dish with hubster's chuckling.

You call that a mall?

2010-06-29T11:05:00.002+03:00

Ontario's newest mall called "Vaughn Mills" opened out in suburbia a few years ago and at the time we were all quite excited about it. We hadn't had a new mall in ten plus years, and the pre-eminent mall experience was a toss up between Yorkdale and Eaton Center. We were thrilled with the 200 odd stores in it, a lot of them being outlet style stores of my favourite brands, it just seemed like a bit of heaven. Tsk tsk. I was so young and naive.

I'm afraid coming to the middle east has forever ruined my expectations of what constitutes a mall. The bar has been raised so incredibly high that it's such a let down to visit the old shopping haunts in Toronto. In Bahrain, the City Centre mall has a waterpark, brand spanking new cinemas and 350 stores. The Dubai Mall in Dubai has a full sized skating rink, a giant aquarium, a three storey waterfall, a full cinema, and a thousand plus stores. A THOUSAND. Brands carried in the Kingdom Mall here in Riyadh include places like Tiffany's and Burberry - stuff you would only see on the ritziest parts of Bay & Bloor in Toronto. Most of the malls in Riyadh are attached to full sized grocery stores too! It's effing brilliant! While the mix of stuff you find in the middle east clothing wise is not always to my taste, the malls are really incredible here and they are a huge relief for Western women. I myself am very grateful for having so many to choose from in Riyadh.

And by the way ladies, NOW is the time to shop till you drop. The summer sales are on and I know once you get into a mall and see those 50% off signs, the part of your brain that normally gives you the willpower to show restraint in purchases will completely shut down. Go go go!

Date me

2010-06-26T21:25:00.007+03:00

I have a sweet tooth and I absolutely slobber when I see dates. It is the one of the few middle eastern treats that I adore devouring.

If you've never had a date, maybe you should try deodourant. har har har. I couldn't resist. Eating a date is like biting into a giant raisin, except instead of the grape taste, you taste something akin to maple syrup. They are delectable little things, though they are very high in sugar content. The locals will sometimes tell you it's a 'healthy sugar', which is probably baloney, but don't argue, just chew. If you argue, you might not get another one! Quick how many can you stuff into your purse while no one's looking? On our last trip to Dubai they kept an unlimited supply at the front desk of the hotel and I routinely made up excuses to walk by and grab them. I usually eat four or five of them at a time and typically stop one date short of feeling completely sick.

I should probably write something cultural about where they come from, about date factories and such and such, but then I don't really care - I only care about where to get more of them. The softer the better. Any suggestions out there?

exit re-entry visa. argh.

2010-06-26T13:05:00.003+03:00

You've finally made it here, and now you can't wait to get out, so you've got two tickets to Istanbul and a big smile on your face. Not so fast buster. In order to exit the Magic Kingdom and to re-enter post vacay, you will need to shell out either 200SAR for a single exit re-entry visa where you are allowed to exit once and re-enter once, or 500SAR for the "multiple six month exit re-entry visa" where you may exit and re-enter freely within a six month period starting from the date of your first departure. If it sounds like it's straightforward, rest assured that there are many things that can go wrong.

Typically the office 'runner' will be the man in charge of handling the visa for you, and he will collect your passports, money, your sponsor's scribbly wibbly (i.e. written permission), and sometimes when the mood strikes him, passport pictures. In theory, the paperwork should only take a day or so to complete, but getting anything done quickly in the Kingdom is like putting a stick in the Red Sea and expecting it to part. If your name isn't Moses, then you better plan ahead.

The most important thing to remember after you get your exit re-entry visa is to bring it with you to the airport. That sounds simple enough, but the fact that the visa is typically a loose sheet of dot matrix A4 paper makes it easy to confuse the document, with say, a receipt, or to leave it behind with your airline ticket at the check-in counter, or for your well meaning maid to throw out for you.

Let's explore a hypothetical. Let's say you are now on your way back to Riyadh from a nice trip to Germany. As you are lining up to get onto the plane bound for Riyadh, you notice the flight staff checking visas. Has it been six months since you first used it?? Gee you've had so many Worsteiners you can't remember. You examine your visa, but can't read the dates on any of the stamps because they are in arabic(!), and not only are they in arabic, but they utilize the arabic calendar (!!!). The staff denies your entry on the flight to Riyadh (!!!!!).

Now what? Well remember all those documents you had to collect before you came to Riyadh in the first place? Yup. Resubmission time. Not to worry, your exile should only last a few weeks since the paperwork is already in place and all that needs to be done is for your runner to submit everything again along with the ever important letter from the sponsor. But as we have covered, you are not Moses, so expect there to be mistakes and delays.

happy travelling all!

burning skin vs. frozen spine

2010-06-22T16:22:00.009+03:00

So what would you rather live in? A country that is dismal and chillingly cold for about six months (Oct-Mar) out of the year with a three month summer, or a country that is summer all the time with about four months (Jun-Sep) of suffocating heat? We've reached the mid-forties celsius in Riyadh and the air is just right for whining. Going outside in Riyadh during this time of year is like getting a hug from a sumo wrestler, except the sumo wrestler is made of fire. Is it possible for your eyeballs to feel sweaty? I say yes!

Well I tell ya, even so, I like the heat and all the beautiful sunny days in Riyadh, and I do *not* miss the weather in Canada. You would think I might long for a white Christmas and skating and snowball fights, but the truth is that after coming here, I can't understand how I survived Toronto. Seriously there were times back then when I counted a full two weeks without seeing the sun! Canadians: now that it's summer, you can all congratulate yourselves for not committing suicide back in February when you were seriously considering it.

In Riyadh, things get hot, sure. And on certain days you really might be able to fry an egg on your car, sure. But the nice thing is that every enclosed space you encounter has proper air conditioning, and lots of it. I will take burning skin over frozen spine any day, because the reality is that your skin will only burn for the 30 seconds between a car and a door, but I found my frozen spine would last all day in Canada, and the heating systems were always too much or too little. It is also mean and unfair to make a woman choose between looking good and being warm.

How did I manage to complain about both countries in one post? It's a special Canadian skill. But Riyadh still wins hands down for me, weather wise.

Tim Horton's fans

2010-06-20T20:10:00.010+03:00

Without a doubt, every expat Canadian that goes abroad will at some point mention and lament their loss of access to Tim Horton's. Affectionately known as Timmy's, this is an affordably priced Canadian coffee & donut chain that has a fanatically loyal fanbase. The franchise was started by a much loved hockey player in 1965, and now has about 3500 locations across Canada. The chain dominates both the fast food and coffee markets in Canada and outcompetes both McDonalds and Starbucks by wide margins, so it is really beyond a word like "iconic" - it is *legendary*. Along with serving up a damn good coffee and a myriad of donut varieties, they sell their wildly popular "timbits" which are basically bite sized donut holes. In the mid-80's they expanded into soups and chillies, then sandwiches and bagels in the 90's, and have most recently been in talks with Satan to purchase outright ownership of Canadian souls with ads like these:

(This commercial has been known to make grown men cry)

The fanatacism has reached such heights that should you mention Tim Horton's to even the most unanimated Canadian expat, they will positively light up with excitement as they describe their favourite timbit to you (SOUR CREAM GLAZED!) or talk about their Iced Caps. You may even see some mist in their eyes as they mention the painful hole in their heart that Timmy's used to occupy before it was ripped out by moving abroad.

So I'm writing this post for all the Canadians expats who know what I'm talking about. Don't forget to check in with a comment and tell me what your favourite thing to order was ;)

Are those handcuffs?? Where am I?

2010-06-20T12:28:00.010+03:00

I am in Jeddah right now! And I cannot resist posting the pictures I took of a lingerie shop at the Red Sea Mall. I heard that things were a bit more relaxed out here, but I didn't realize it was *this* relaxed!

While I was looking into the store making surprised remarks about it, hubster disappeared halfway down the hall to disassociate himself from the woman with the camera yelling, "they sell WHIPS in here! Come look! Where are you going?!" He is the first to sell me down the river whenever he hears the words, "look out for security, okay?" Honestly where is the loyalty? Curiously, there was no mall security chasing me down for taking pictures anywhere. Was it just good luck? Or is this Jeddah?

line up etiquette

2010-06-20T09:50:00.004+03:00

Okay this is one beef that Canadians always have when they come to Saudi. In Canada, we are all very (ridiculously?) uptight about not cutting in line for anything in any situation. Whatever the line up, the attitude is always first come first serve no matter who you are. The level of personal insult incurred with a cut in is on the order of slapping everyone you have just cut in front of. We have a tradition of equality that people take really seriously even if you're just buying donuts and you are pretty sure the guy in front of you is drunk: if you are truly Canadian, you will still wait patiently behind the drunken man while he spills the contents of his wallet out and asks how much a single timbit costs in pennies.

Here in Riyadh, things are different. The culture here is hierarchical by nature and it is reflected in little things such as line ups. Whenever you go to the airport or pass through Bahrain, you will often see Saudi nationals jumping lines to pass through customs. Part of the story is that there are less documents to check and so they actually pass through very quickly, and another part of it is that there is sometimes simply an attitude of entitlement present that is tolerated far more in the Middle East than it is in Canada and the U.S. Even purchasing clothing, I have literally gotten to the counter after lining up only to have a local with her entourage swoop in from behind me and demand to be cashed out first. It happens at the grocery store too, especially when prayer is just about to hit and a scramble occurs.

So anyways, I'm sharing all this with you as a preface to a recent experience. I went to McDonalds and there were two Saudi women waiting for their food after ordering, busy chatting. I fully expected them to continue blocking the counter until they got their food and left. But not long after I arrived, one of them saw me and pushed her friend out of the way to make way for me. Yes actually, a lot of them (the majority of them!) are polite and respectful, but since line up etiquette is so very important in Canada, we really remember the bad stuff more than we notice the good. The reality is that for every one Saudi that cuts the line there are ten that will wait patiently just like you.

I mean, this doesn't change the fact that I've become obsessively territorial when I'm waiting in line and deliberately spread my bags out as far as possible as a preventative measure, but it is a reminder that there are a lot of Saudis out there who feel that showing respect and courtesy to others is just a part of our every day lives.

Walking in Riyadh HONK

2010-06-17T14:48:00.004+03:00

For a number of reasons, Saudi is not a pedestrian friendly place. The most popular reason would be the brutal heat, which really does preclude walking anywhere in the daytime for a good five months out of the year. But another reason is simply a matter of urban planning - there is no consistent network of sidewalks in this region, so on any given road, you may be walking on sidewalk for a part of it, then the dirt part of a construction zone, then the road itself while you walk around construction barriers, and then back onto a sidewalk. Many of the smaller streets do not have sidewalks at all. Also with the exception of a few parks, a couple of nice streets, or walking around the souks, the lack of control in organizing the growth of the city has led to a disparate (read in: ugly) looking landscape that is not worth exploring on foot.

OK so for all the above reasons, there are pretty much no pedestrians walking around the city, and especially not the abaya-wearing delicate flowers known as women. But from time to time, you just can't avoid walking. Given all the information above though, any time a taxi driver sees a woman walking, they think "oh! she needs a ride. Why isn't she looking at me? I'm gonna let her know I'm here." *HONK* Then they slow down to see if you are looking, which causes all the cars behind the taxi to honk the taxi. *HONK* *HONK *HONK* You must make eye contact and shake your head or wave them away before they move on. Now this is the important part: repeat this fifty times, because THAT my friends, is what taking a walk in Riyadh is like!

a hubster's guide to PMS in the Kingdom

2010-06-15T22:12:00.007+03:00

Once a month or so, the floodgates of my soul open, and my emotional responses to normal stimuli become wildly exaggerated. Not sure if there's a Saudi equivalent, but the code phrase for this delicate female time in Canada is "the aunt has come to visit."

Unfortunately during my aunt's visits, there is usually only one hapless victim wandering around the house to be unwittingly disemboweled and eaten alive. Poor hubster. I'm dedicating this post to all the poor hubsters out there...sometimes the only true error on your innocent hands is that you were within a 10 yard radius of your lovely wife. If you really have screwed up during her aunt's visit, then may God be with you and remember the cardinal rule: never ever ever ever ask her if she is having PMS - it is the same as asking her to beat you with a chair. oooh yeah and the second cardinal rule: stop, drop and roll.

Here's a few examples of how you can outsmart her 'aunt', given that you have been smart enough to figure out that the aunt is on her way:

Situation A
A late driver and prayer messed up her plans to buy something
normal female response: she does it tomorrow
PMS response: she snaps at hubster when he asks where the item is
normal husband: shrugs and tells her to do it tomorrow
smart husband: volunteers to get it right now. hugs her & tells her he loves her.

Situation B
A friend's husband said something chauvanistic to her
normal female response: rolls her eyes and moves on with life
PMS response: rants for 20 mins straight to hubster about sexism
normal husband: asks her why she cares what other people think
smart husband: agrees with her. hugs her & tells her he loves her.

Situation C
A friend gushes about a fancy night out with her husband
normal female response: is happy for her friend
PMS response: asks her husband why he never takes her anywhere
normal husband: lists all the fancy places he's taken her last month
smart husband: makes reservations immediately. hugs her & tells her he loves her.

Situation D
She's suffering from cabin fever
normal female response: she books a driver and gets out
PMS response: she gets mopey and sulks
normal husband: tells her she needs to get out more
smart husband: takes her out. hugs her & tells her he loves her.

What's normal anyway, right?

2010-06-12T01:29:00.006+03:00

So I don't know how to write this post without sounding like a complete snob, so I'll just begin by admitting freely that I can be a snobby judgemental poop from time to time and my comfy little circle of friends in Toronto included people who were considerate, non-confrontational, drama-free, working professionals, leading normal lives in a normal city.

Being plucked from my little world of sunshine, unicorns and all things easy (though I didn't know it at the time because I was a fool. a damn fool.) and dropped off in the middle of the arabian desert has sort of left me in a position where I no longer have the luxury of interacting with only the people that are basically clonal variations of myself. I know that sounds terrible but I was very happy hanging out with the calm version of me, the fit and active version of me, the five years younger version of me, the superstar version of me, the academic version of me, the male version of me, and so on and so forth. In Riyadh, if you are looking for that reflection of yourself in your friends, you will be Gilligan but without the other castaways, because this is the land of the unconventional and no two expats are alike.

In Riyadh, you might find a lot of people on their second or third marriages or on their fourth or fifth careers; in a row of houses on a compound, you might find military contractors, businessmen, nurses, and teachers from all around the world. Education levels will vary from high school all the way to PhD's, political views from extremely right to communist, religions from atheist to wants-to-convert-you. You'll have people who are happily single, people who are unhappily single, the happily married and monogomous, the unhappily married and mostly monogomous, the happily married and mutually not monogomous, and everything in between. You will be thrust into an environment where you will make friends with people you would not normally be friends with, owing to your uppity pre-Riyadh views on people you like and people you do not like. Basically what I am saying is that if you were like me and living in a happy bubble before you moved to a compound, the more you find out about your fellow compound dwellers, the more you will find yourself saying, "that's CRAZY!" And not in a positive wild and fun way, but like in a sociopathic issue-laden morally-questionable way.

Then you hit steady state and go "what's normal anyway?" ha ha. Ok I am not saying throw all your standards out the window and welcome crazy into your daily life, but I am saying that maybe re-evaluating your preconceived notions on what types of people to include in your social network is a necessary thing to do here. As long as you find people who are mature and loyal, it's okay if you don't have everything else in common, and who knows it could expand your horizons or some sh*t like that.

And for the set that are resistant to expanding their horizons in defense of their identities...well I am right there with you too. That is what blogging is for.

the compound run-down

2010-06-06T10:42:00.003+03:00

Another long information post. Here are my general impressions for those expats in the planning stages.

"LUXURY"
Arizona
I've blogged about this one before. I think most people agree that this is the most attractive looking compound to stay in, with its lovely 'ranch' style decorations, a beautiful resort style central pool, and its golf course and driving range. And its horse. It's really one of the best compounds with a pleasant atmosphere, but it has a matching price tag for pockets that run deep.

Cordoba & Al Hamra
Sister compounds with a common owner, Cordoba and Al Hamra are very large compounds. Cordoba is supposed to have some of the most spacious villas in Riyadh, with beautifully maintained grounds and a very good maintenance team. Cordoba can sometimes feel a bit cold as there is less of a community atmosphere there than on other compounds and it has a truly terrible compound restaurant.

Kingdom
Kingdom is famous amongst women for its coffee mornings. It has a wonderful looking central pool with fake rocks and boulders everywhere, a nice cafe area and restaurant, and even has a birdcage on display full of parrots and budgies. I've never been in a villa but they are supposed to be quite nice. This compound has the longest waiting list in the Kingdom because its prices are reasonable for the quality of accommodation.

Eid
This is a smaller compound in comparison to others on this list, but still sizeable. Grounds are well maintained, and Eid boasts a wavepool and a fairly decent restaurant. Villas tend to be on the smaller side compared to other compounds in this price range, but what people tend to like about Eid is the friendly atmosphere.

Jadawel is supposed to be another nice compound that has very spacious residences. I've never been there but I hear it's great. One drawback about Jadawel is its location twenty minutes from the edge of the city.

"MID-RANGE"
Arab Investment Compound
A smaller compound near the diplomatic quarter, this one is quite nice and cozy. The villas we've been able to visit are comfortable and residents seem content with it, but you don't see the same kinds of sprawling set ups as in the luxury compounds. A lot of people like its location, that is relatively central for a Western compound.

Al Yamama
There's actually three Yamama compounds now, but I've only been to Yamama 2. These compounds are large and seem to have a decent number of amenities too. The villas I've seen in Yamama tend to be fairly simple bungalow type houses made of concrete blocks but they are generally spacious enough.

Wadi
A smaller compound, this is a decent looking place, and has enough amenities to make your stay reasonable. As with others on this list, this compound is well kept with all the amenities you would need and our friends there seem content with it.

Arabian Homes, Nadj, and Villas Rosas are also smaller compounds that are well maintained from what I hear.

"BUDGET"
Seder Village
Ahh...Seder Village. This is a compound that everyone knows and talks about and you'll see why when you get here. Housing is bungalow style, but it's a notch below Yamama; the construction of homes is nowhere near the Luxury compounds. The thing that sets Seder apart from others is its fun & social reputation - it is supposed to have a solid community of expats that are plugged into events in the region, and is a popular choice for singles.

Ranco
Ranco's residences range from motel-style apartments to larger villas. Not much to say about their rec center or amenities, just that they're there, and they get used. Their prices are fixed at very reasonable rates.

Fal
I understand that Fal is a military facility that has been converted to a compound. The rooms are very small and sterile, however the place is cheaper than most.

HERE are some recent prices of some of the compounds that I've mentioned.

IN SUMMARY...
In a luxury compound, you can expect resort-style surroundings and extra amenities on large compounds, beautiful villas, ever-increasing prices, and lengthy waitlists. To get into these highly sought-after compounds, you usually have to have a friend living at your preferred compound that is willing to vouch for you and introduce you to management. Many long-timers have left them in recent years because the pricetags have doubled within the span of the last 5-10 years.

Mid-range compounds usually have most of the necessary amenities on their compounds to make living there comfortable and easy, well manicured grounds if not sprawling ones - maybe no wavepool or bowling, but a hairdresser and a nice gym. On the budget end, you'll have the basic amenities that are convenient in a compound, but not necessarily the nicest looking houses or grounds.

When it comes to demographics, each compound is different, and you have to make a visit to the compound in question to really get a feel for what types of people live in each one. Many Westerners feel uncomfortable in compounds that have large arab populations because of the cultural clashes that can occur. If your housing is not provided by your employer, the best thing to do is to take colleagues & acquaintances up on their offers for you to go visit them at their compounds, and plan a stop at the manager's office. Phone calls and emails will generally not get you into any of the higher end compounds.

Good luck to you all, and hope this helps!

night swims night sky

2010-06-05T22:29:00.000+03:00

Okay, one of my most favourite things to do on the compound is take swims at night in the pool. Right now, the weather has gotten a little too hot for afternoon walks, but being outside at night time is heavenly. Bonus - no sunscreen needed.

When my husband and I are out in the pool floating and looking up at the evening sky, it's a different colour from the night sky in Canada. I know some of you may think black is black, and the sky would look the same, but it doesn't! In Saudi Arabia, the sky has purples and reds in it from the glow of the city, whereas in Toronto the black leans more towards an indigo blue-black. The crescent moon here looks like a smile, and all the constellations are in a different position from where they are in Toronto, when you can make them out from a campfire in the desert.

Is Riyadh Dangerous?

2010-06-01T12:37:00.005+03:00

The answer to this question is "it depends on your definition of dangerous."

If you are asking whether it is dangerous in the sense of whether it is likely you will be kidnapped by a terrorist and have a toe chopped off and sent to your spouse in an envelope, then no, it's not dangerous. Ever since the bombings in 2003, the country has cracked down on terrorist activity and I am happy to report that I have never felt unsafe here. I am told things did get bad for Westerners just before the bombings and there was some harassment going on, but these days I would be very surprised to hear of something like that happening.

If your version of 'dangerous' entails lashings by angry bearded arab men yelling infidel at you because a button is broken on your abaya, then the answer is also no, it's not dangerous for Westerners. The Muttawa once roamed free in this land, travelling in packs, some say carrying sticks, and when there was a full moon out they would grow fur and claws and howl while they feasted on the flesh of... oh wait wait...I'm getting mixed up here. It's hard to separate myth from reality, past from present, rural vs. urban with the things you hear about the religious police. For the most part the main kind of trouble they will currently give a Western woman is for not having her head covered. I believe locals and muslims are under more scrutiny, but that being the case I would still not recommend Westerners to be alone in public with the opposite sex if they are not married or related to them.

If your definition of 'dangerous' is petty crime, then yes, Riyadh is dangerous in the same way Toronto, LA, New York, and other countless big cities are dangerous. Add the high proportion of youth and their matching unemployment rate, you can sort of get an idea of what type of trouble brews here. People occasionally get carjacked, and muggings occur, though they usually target working class Filipino and Indians who have no recourse. If anyone tells you that the benefit of coming to a holy land is that the cities are very safe, you have my permission to laugh a little. I say this because hubster told me that before we moved here and we now have a good laugh from time to time about it.

Lastly, if your definition of "dangerous" is the most insane and violent road rage you've ever seen in your life, then on very rare occasions Riyadh also fits the bill. I'm only gonna say this once: if the other driver looks crazy, he probably *is*. In this specific circumstance, resist the temptation to get out of your car to engage the angry man who has just cut across three lanes to slam into you, because although he may look like a skinny nothing, he probably has a lead pipe under his seat saved for special occasions like this.

Though the majority of the country is perfectly fine with Westerners being here, there's still a segment of people who resent us and what we stand for, and it's best to remember that when you're out and about. They all speak English and can understand disparaging remarks, so save your frustrations for your house or car. I've never felt unwelcome or truly unsafe here - but if you go looking for trouble in Riyadh, you can find it. As a woman and Westerner, I am out and about regularly on my own and do not think twice about it. Riyadh is as safe as any other metropolis, so don't worry too much about it!

where is the rest of my $10 magazine?

2010-05-29T15:19:00.006+03:00

Okay, so I'm sure many of you have heard that there are censorship laws here in Saudi Arabia. Just to give you an idea of how it plays out in real life, my recent People Magazine in which Bret Michaels says he's "lucky to be alive" has about ten pages ripped out of it. Pontificating on why these pages have been taken out is sometimes more fun than reading the magazine itself, because let's be honest, who cares about Bret Michaels?

In the section titled "Sizzling Stars of Summer", "Sexy couples, super stunts, and ripped six packs galore," I am missing two pages of scantily clad celebrities. Apparently there is such a thing as too hot for Saudi Arabia! All I get to see of Jake Gyllenhaal's presumably unsheathed body is some whispy strands of hair. To the Censor who defaced my magazine: I have a womanly entitlement to see Jake Gyllenhaal's sun-kissed muscles, and I find it appalling that you are robbing the female population here of this God given right. Keeping us apart will only bring us closer together.

Ok ladies, for those of you wondering why I bothered to pay $10 for a People magazine, let me just inform you that this was actually a thoughtful gesture brought to you by the one and only hubster. He knows I read all kinds of tabloids and sh*t back home and can't get any recent copies here - he just didn't know that the trash factor had to be much higher for me to maximize my enjoyment. Yes, I am "that woman" that wants to read about Heidi Montag's addiction to painkillers after ten plastic surgeries.

Hubster has also had copies of the Economist censored in the same manner - there are often pages missing from the magazine any time there is coverage on Saudi Arabia. My reaction? I just shrug my shoulders. This is all part of what we signed up for ;)

alone time = verbal incontenence

2010-05-29T01:37:00.004+03:00

It happens to the best of us. Living in a closed society can make it unusually difficult for people to make the same kind of connections that they have at home with their friends and family. A lot of expat women end up spending a lot of time at home cooped up with their kids or even by themselves, because the heat levels, the abayas, the lack of public entertainment sources, the prayer closings, the drivers, the blah blah blah million and one barriers to doing the things you always did at home result in it being ten times easier to stay home than to get out and go somewhere social. A lot of women fall into a pattern of inertia, a bit of a black hole in time, and I am just as guilty as the next. For instance, if I walked out of my home on any given afternoon to go to the compound store, and someone asked me what day it was or what time it was, I would not know. As a general rule, time stopped somewhere a year and half ago for me, and I therefore cannot make a distinction between Sunday and Tuesday. Those details slowly become filed in the brain as "not relevant"

As a direct result of all that isolated time-stopping quiet time, I find that when I call my friends and family back in Canada, I literally cannot stop talking. It's the kind of flood-talking where the person on the other end of the line could put the phone down, watch Seinfeld, come back, and you would still be talking, not because anything particularly earth shattering has happened, but because you've gone into withdrawal from the lack of human interaction and this is the rebound effect.

I know this post makes me sound like quite the fruitless loser...what can I say? it's not completely untrue........ha ha..oh well, that is what candy is for!

Top ten things to do on a compound

2010-05-24T12:57:00.003+03:00

I get the impression that what goes on the inside of a compound seems quite mysterious to outsiders, so I've put together a little list of common activites.

1. swim or sunbathe or tend your requisite sunburns.
2. have bbq's or attend bbq's
3. walk in circles around the compound and try to spot which residents have nicer furniture than you. On your walk, you run down your mental tally of what gossip you have heard about what people living at what houses. You also get extra points if you see anyone naked in the windows.
4. if you have young kids, you spend time with your young kids and with other people who have young kids.
5. if you're an empty nester, you play bridge, tennis, squash, go on the shopping bus, go to the ceramic cafe, tend your garden, and chit chat quite a lot about those activities and everyone else on the compound.
6. if you're a single man, you watch a hell of a lot of movies, DVD's, and spend quality time with your Wii or Playstation.
7. take lessons in some kind of hobby that will likely never be useful in your day to day life
8. you cook alone in your house, staring blankly at the clock, while you fantasize about owning an Ironman suit. Ok maybe that one is just me.
9. go to compound parties that will be good if you have a good rec director, and bad if you don't
10. you spend an unreasonable amount of time trolling the internet in your pajamas

getting a job...or not...

2010-05-15T14:25:00.007+03:00

I've been meaning to write about this for a while but it's just oh so serious. I promise my next post will be about pixie dust or puppies or something.

For you ladies out there moving here for your hubbies, let me just say that if you like teaching, tutoring, being a secretary, or are a nurse, boy oh boy you are totally in luck! Riyadh is full of these jobs for expat women, and even if you have no experience teaching, the international schools and other tutoring opportunities abound.

If you don't like children and are not a nurse, and you don't have a job set up before you arrive, well come a little closer so I can stick my trusty pin in that rose coloured bubble above your head. The reality is that even if you find work in your profession here (a feat on its own due to your gender and the Saudization program), you will likely be paid next to nothing for your efforts for the simple fact that you own a couple of boobs and a hoo ha down there. Before you get here, if your husband's friends and colleagues say, "oh she'll get a job no problem" just be aware that 90% of the time the people who say that are full of sh*t; if it was that easy, why haven't you been recruited too?

When I first came to Riyadh, I thought I would be able to find work in my profession because it was in healthcare. For months I dug around, called, and showed up to hospitals, and actually I did manage to secure an internship at a hospital. As a job offer was extended to me, I was appalled by the pay they offered and turned it down. I am pretty sure our maid has better pay and hours than what I was given. It was at that point that I decided to choose early retirement. I was sort of unenthused about my chosen profession anyhow, so it was a good time to re-evaluate things on my end and I'm not really bitter about how things turned out.

Now now, before you get all depressed and disgruntled, let me say this as well: in time I'm pretty sure I would have found a decent job in my line of work. A lot of it is about making connections, getting names, and just showing up. Just be prepared to do that for the better part of a year, less if you're lucky or speak arabic, and more if the cosmos are not on your side.

Hope this is helpful!

not religious? what do you mean?

2010-04-29T22:45:00.001+03:00

A while back I did a very short internship in my trade here in Riyadh where I got to mix with expats from all over the Middle East and Africa. Being the only non-muslim at work and starting during Ramadan, I covered my head to be sure not to offend people, and then felt weird about uncovering after Ramadan was over. This made people at work curious about my religion, and I had a few people ask me whether I was Muslim or Christian.

When I first answered that I was neither, and that I was in fact not religious at all, the looks I received from people were of complete and utter dismay and confusion. I felt like I had just told everyone my mother was a dolphin, and that's why I have flippers for hands. When I tried to explain myself, it only caused more confusion, so I gave up and just decided to tell everyone I was Christian and that I just hadn't been to church in a real long time. This calmed everyone's feathers down, except maybe God, who might have been offended by my hypocrisy. I came home and told hubster what happened at work and he nodded his head. He said that he found that certain groups of devout people here view Christianity as an acceptable alternative to being Muslim, because at least Christians are still people 'of the book' so to speak. But to not believe in God or to not be religious at all is just seen as catastrophically poor judgement...you are basically a lost soul. What kind of person would choose to be a lost soul???

Obviously that was a select group of fervent believers that I was working with, but I think it's very interesting that at home in Toronto in my circles, I am the norm, and it's the people who are religious that are 'misguided.' I've been on both sides of that fence, and I really don't think either side is right or wrong, better or worse - it's just a matter of personal preference. Whatever you choose, as long as you are happy, have love in your life, and are at peace with the world, then you have my personal approval. Just don't be surprised if you show up here as a staunch atheist and are met with double takes from a local who goes to mosque five times a day ;)

dress code in compounds

2010-04-27T03:30:00.005+03:00

Well, it's not a secret that you don't have to wear abayas on Western compounds. But something that people might not know, is that many compounds ban Saudi dress. That means you and your guests are not allowed to walk around in thobes and abayas. Some compounds, like ours, even have a policy about restricting head coverings in public spaces. Hands up - who wants to tell our lovely soft-spoken Syrian-Canadian friend that she can't wear her headscarf to a compound party when she's never had to remove it to attend any kind of party in Canada? I see there are no hands up.

You might ask just what is the big deal? If someone wants to wear a thobe or abaya on the compound, can't we just let them be? One long-timer here in Riyadh has told me that once management allows the dress codes to slide to please certain residents, disputes begin to appear. From what I understand, the problem is not so much the clothing itself, but the perceived type of person that tends to prefer wearing thobes and hijab style dress - i.e. religious conservatives. The general sentiment is that if you have a compound full of Western people doing all kinds of secular Western things, with a lot of women jogging around in their sports bras and shorts, there is just too much potential for animosity to develop if the value systems are too variable from one resident to another. It only takes a disapproving stare here or there for a snowball effect to occur. The system is flawed, because wearing a thobe doesn't necessarily mean you're religious, and covering your head doesn't necessarily mean you're going to chastise Miss Short-shorts for mincing around in her itsy bitsies. But to prevent headaches, and select for residents (and guests of residents) with similar lifestyles, rules like this are imposed, and to some degree it makes a sense.

On top of the enforced Western dress code, some compounds also restrict the presence of Saudi nationals, even as guests. For instance, our compound has permitted residents to have Saudi visitors only if they are not in public spaces. There have been many problems in the past with locals getting out of hand, or offending women at compound parties, so they have just banned them entirely. I recently attended a play on a compound that enforced a strict no-Saudi policy - and the manager who imposed the rule is actually a Saudi himself! I feel really awkward and disappointed sometimes about having to abide by these policies...however I also understand why management takes these steps. I just can't help feeling that it's unfair that all Saudis be put in the same basket just because some of them can't behave themselves...but I also recognize that I have no better solution. Hello inner conflict!!

So Saudis, if you are reading this and have wondered why you've never been invited by your nice Canadian friend to a compound party, this might be your answer. Delivered with reluctance. Or the compound parties could just be embarrassingly bad and they don't want to invite you to witness it...

Is she? Or isn't she?

2010-04-23T23:05:00.009+03:00

Six signs you may be in close proximity to a "working girl" in Bahrain...

1. There's a nightclub in your hotel, and the base from the speakers passes through concrete walls and floors
2. Said nightclub employs a filipino band whose female members are clad in outfits that may or may not be taped onto their bodies
3. In the morning, you watch a pretty young thing come out of the elevator in club wear (e.g. a ridiculously short skirt), full make up and four inch heels
4. There seems to be a suspiciously large age gap between the mixed race couples going to and fro in the hotel
5. At breakfast, a couple fitting the description of above #4 seem to be eating their food in an awkward silence.
6. You watch a really old white guy hug a really young asian girl on a street corner right before they walk in opposite directions, usually with the man heading towards a hotel and the girl walking towards a taxi.

ha ha...now you'll all think Bahrain is very seedy. It's generally not, but you definitely get certain types congregating around the hotels that have nightclubs in them. If loud music or sketchy characters are not your scene, don't skimp on your hotel in Bahrain, or else choose a dry hotel.

Latest trip to Bahrain

2010-04-23T22:15:00.006+03:00

This past weekend hubster and I ended up in Bahrain, so I thought I'd share some travel tips even though this is a Riyadh blog, because let's face it - Bahrain is where everyone ends up when they need to take a quick break from Saudi.

We flew Bahrain Air, a discount airline, instead of driving this time. The schedule is definitely not as flexible as the other major carriers, and the planes are not new, but we ended up paying about $300USD for two roundtrip tickets. For that suspiciously low price, as long as we didn't crash, we couldn't really complain. Both flights took off and landed on time, so we were happy with that and actually expected more to go wrong.

We have always stayed in the Juffair area because that is where all the action is. And by action, I do not specifically mean filipino singers, alcoholics, prostitutes, and alcoholic filipino singer/prostitutes. Yes, they are there, but I am referring more to the restaurants popular with the expat community and many of the decent hotels.

We visited Bambu, an asian restaurant, in the Adliya area for the second time and were really happy with the all-you-can-eat-and-drink meal for 15BD. We were so happy, in fact, that one of us may have ended up babbling and giggling hysterically all the way home after a very modest (pitiful?) amount of wine. You know you're drunk when you suddenly genuinely believe you are the world's funniest person. Other restos to mention are Ric's Kountry Kitchen and Jim's for brunch. Ric's being a local dive of a watering hole that serves up greasy spoon American food in the morning, and Jim's being its polite British cousin minus the bar and band. For something more lavish check out the Friday brunch at the Gulf Hotel or the Banyan Tree. And if you truly want to be fleeced and knitted into a sweater, there's always the Ritz Carlton. Trader Vic's on the Ritz resort is a popular spot to sit and have a drink outside.

Other mentionables: this past weekend our friends introduced us to City Center, and it's the nicest mall we've been to in Bahrain. It even boasts an indoor waterpark.

City Center has a slew of nice restaurants on their upper floors and has a cinema as well. Seef and Dana mall also have movie theatres for those inclined. We rented a car while we were there at the airport. Traffic was a mess at certain times of the day. We only got lost once when hubster thought he saw a guy with a cane riding a donkey down the road and took an "alternate route" to prove to me he wasn't hallucinating. With all the traffic restrictions on U Turns and stuff like that we ended up in some shanty town somewhere, but got out pretty quick.

And yes, he was right, there were in fact donkeys on the road.....

Where to buy a formal dress in Riyadh

2010-04-19T11:36:00.003+03:00

Sooner or later, an expat will have a reason to dress up here in Riyadh. Whether it's a ball at an embassy or an arab wedding, at one point, it's imperative that we ladies get dressed to the nines or risk embarrassment. After attending a few formal events and asking around, I have come to the conclusion that we don't actually have a ton of options for Western style gowns.

Arab style gowns are another matter - they are absolutely everywhere. You'll find plenty in the secondhand souk, and almost every major mall has at least one or two stores that sell glitzy dresses. Little known fact: Saudi's second largest national resource behind oil is sequins. The general fashion rule that I see in stores is that if it's small and shiny, you put in on a dress. If it's large and shiny, you put in on a dress. There's no such thing as too much sparkle! Occasionally when you step into these shops you can still find one or two that aren't covered with bling. Those dresses will almost never be on the mannequins so it might be worth poking your head into the shops to gloss through their racks.

I would say the place with the largest selection of Western style formal wear is Debenhams. Then another store you might try is Coast, a UK chain that has lovely high quality dresses(and prices to match)at outlets in malls like Granada and Hayat. Debenhams carries a number of Coast dresses, so you'll see repeats if you go to both stores. Be forewarned that if you buy a Coast dress within a week or two of a major embassy event that you can expect 'twins' to show up on the night of. Be mentally prepared to compete with your 'twin' in the Riyadh version of "Who Wore it Better?" A friend of mine suggested BCBG in the Faisaliah as well, and Monsoon in Kingdom.

I recently went shopping at Hayat on their ground floor and found a few stores selling pieces of stuff that could pass for formalwear here and there. I have pretty simple tastes when it comes to dresses, and found some nice ones at Femi, a French store there. Hayat boasts a decent selection of mid-range Western brands like Le Chateau, Esprit, Benetton, Guess, Zara, Aldo, Nine West, Club Monaco, etc. etc. So you can usually find semi-formal dresses easily there. Formal wear is always a bit trickier...I feel it involves a lot of trial and error if you don't find something from Debenhams. In Riyadh you have to pay for your clothing and try it on in the nearest bathroom because there are no changerooms in stores. If you don't like the style or it doesn't fit you just return it. Sounds crazy, huh? But it's the norm here and like everything else in Riyadh, you get used to it!

The best thing you can do for yourself is to shop around whether or not you have an event to go to, because things do go on sale, and like I said - you'll for sure get invited to something eventually. If you hit Desperationville a week before your event, expect to shell out big time for a dress you don't hate.

If anyone has some tips for formal wear shopping, I'd love to hear from ya!

dirt cheap cell phones

2010-04-18T13:43:00.000+03:00

OK, so I've been living here for what...a year and a half now? And in that span of time, I've managed to lose two cell phones: one the maid threw it out with the trash (not really my fault), and the other abandoned in a taxi in Dubai (completely and utterly my fault). Unfortunately you CANNOT be without a cell phone in Riyadh. There aren't a lot of payphones around, and as a woman, you can't go anywhere if you don't have a phone to call your driver to pick you up afterwards.

I've always been under the impression that cell phones are very expensive in Riyadh, because any time you walk into a cell phone store at mall, the ones on display are all in the range of 1000 Riyals or more. I found out yesterday that I couldn't have been more wrong. For whatever reason, I've never actually spoken to an employee at one of these stores before. When I approached the counter at Axiom and asked for their cheapest cell phone possible, the guy responded with "we have a hundred" and sent a minion to the back to retrieve phones. I asked, "a hundred what? a hundred phones? A hundred dollars?" The manager clarified, "no, a hundred riyals!" The minion came back with four phones in the 100-400 riyal range. I was totally gobsmacked. I figured there must be some major inconvenience in a 100 riyal phone and asked, "oh you must not be able to send text messages with them or something, right?" And he shook his head, saying, "m'am you can send and receive texts with all of them, there's just no camera." ...well that's not really inconvenient is it?!

In Canada, we pay insane monthly rates for our cell phone coverage compared to other countries. And if you want to use Pay-as-you-go, Rogers - the Canadian kingpin of legal extortion - charges $40 for a freaking SIM card! I have to control myself here, because I could go into a lengthy diatribe on the morally reprehensible activites of the evil Rogers Empire, but I'll spare you the details.

When I got back into the car, I was pontificating on my discovery to the driver, who told me his cell phone cost 85 riyals. And that he has to buy cheap ones because his daughter likes to chew on them. I guess the reason I never knew was because all our friends have iPhones or brought their cell phones with them from home!

Well now we ALL know!

Paradise awaits you, two hrs from Riyadh

2010-04-16T23:49:00.008+03:00

Hubster and I just got back from a weekend at the Shangri-La in Oman, a two hour flight from Riyadh. We didn’t get to see much of Muscat, though what we did see of the city looked very simple/quaint and surprisingly clean. And coming from a Canadian, that means that you can pretty much eat off the pavement. The big shocker came when we realized all the drivers were staying in their lanes! We really only drove through Muscat on our way to the Shangri La which was located about 30 minutes from the airport and outside of town, but the resort was just fabulous.

The resort is actually a complex of three hotels of varying classes, and it sprawls across quite a bit of land. We spent the weekend sipping cocktails at their bars and outdoor lounges, strolling down the beach at night, soaking up the sun, falling asleep on their comfy loungers, kayaking, watching fish swim by our ankles in the ocean, admiring the extensive grounds and beautiful spa, floating down their lazy river…the list goes on.

The absolute highlight of the trip was getting a chance to watch an enormous hawksbill turtle lay her eggs on the beach at night! This was the last place in the world we expected to catch such an amazing event. The Hawksbill Turtle is on the critically endangered list, and we felt a bit bad that a resort had been built on some of their prime nesting beaches in the area. But at the very least, they seemed to have pretty dedicated turtle ranger on the resort looking out for them, and nests marked off on the beach to prevent trampling.

The lowlight of the trip was watching hubster’s light pink sun kissed skin turn a deep shade of red coming out of the shower, regret in his eyes. It’s always the same story. He goes,“ohh! I wanna go out in the sun *right now*! Let’s get this sunscreen over with!” And then four hours later, “what happened to me??!” with complete and utter shock, as if it hasn’t happened a hundred times before.

I totally recommend that expats try to take trips on the weekends to break up your stay here. It’s something we wish we had been doing the whole time we were here. We booked through an Oman Air package that had a special deal going for Riyadh and picked up our paper tickets at their Riyadh office. We had a very good experience with the airline – planes with adequate leg space, decent food, good service, punctual, etc. - so we would fly again with them without hesitation. Here's the link!

Udon noodles in Riyadh

2010-04-13T01:26:00.020+03:00

So, I was in a pissy kind of mood in the car one day while the hubster was looking for a knife store. That sounds like the beginning of a really bad joke, but rest assured no one got hurt...this time. Ha ha, no no, it never came close to that, but it can just be frustrating to try to find specific locations in Riyadh, land of the streets-with-no-signs and buildings-with-no-numbers.

Being the great guy that he is, when we couldn't find the knife store, hubby tried his best to remember where he had last seen the elusive Asian grocery store. Even a lot of asians don't even know about it. It was like the Lochness Monster for a while in our conversations - you know, mysterious unconfirmed sightings, people thinking they've seen it but not remembering where it is, people denying its existence... He insisted that he once "discovered" it with his driver. As we drove around different sidestreets, I got more and more impatient with being "zero for two" on our mission and began to press him to go home. On the last turn, just as I was demanding that we all raise the white flag, lo and behold. The asian grocery store. Seriously folks, I'm not muslim, but this is what I imagine it might feel like to see Mecca for the first time. Don't get me wrong, it's not a nice looking store, it's just that I miss chinatown shopping in Toronto terribly, and it kills me some days to know that my apartment was walking distance to the best five dollar pho on the planet. And now, that five dollar pho is more than an ocean away.

Here is where I pause to fill you in on my secret obsession with Udon noodles. Again, not the beginning of a bad joke. I used to live above a great little japanese restaurant that I began eating at in 2003. It was a bit on the pricey side, and when I was a student, I used to pick the cheapest thing on their menu to eat for dinner as a reward of sorts - their beef udon noodles. So I associate udon noodles with times of contentment, and I've enjoyed them with so many people, including sharing them with my hubster-to-be on cold winter nights, while we would try to identify which poor pedestrian walking by looked the coldest.

To my complete and utter surprise, udon noodles appeared in the Carrefour near our house all of a sudden. I was overjoyed and initially bought insane stocks of them. But gradually as time wore on, I settled into buying more reasonable quantities at a time. And then one day, about 8 months later, they unceremoniously disappeared. The stockboys knew nothing. The manager knew nothing. They were just gone, and I was heartbroken.

Fast forward to about 3 months later, in the Asian grocery store. There's not a lot there, but freezers & fridges line one of their walls and they are fully stocked with frozen dumplings, edamame, red bean buns and scads of really decent kimchee. And just as we were about to cash out, hubster sauntered up to me with a frozen pack of udon noodles!!! It was like Christmas! Like the dilapitated supermarket version of Christmas! I was so excited that greedy old me went into hoarding mode and picked up loads of the stuff.

Needless to say, hubster had pretty much hit the emotional jackpot with his wife. My hero!

I do not know where to begin to describe where this place is. But we did manage to get the store owner's card, which says "Oriental Supermarket" on it. It's somewhere off Olaya street - down towards the bottom of the city, near Makkah. Here's the phone number on the card 050-793-1114. Good luck if you decide to go, and post back here if you manage to find it, especially if you can share some proper directions.

Amore Pizza

2010-04-13T00:54:00.003+03:00

Okay guys, if you have been living here for 6+ months and have not treated yourself to a meal at Amore, you have just done yourself an unjustifiably bad disservice. Shame on you! Don't cry, you can still save yourself. This restaurant is located on Tahlia, next to another pizza shop that I have never been to, and have no plans to visit because I know I will only be disappointed after Amore.

Amore's family section has a nice open area and then booths in the back. It has a modern vibe going on and I dig it. I don't like sitting in booths because I feel all cooped up. And I already deal with that all day on the compound so... thumbs up for open spaces. When I first got here, I thought, "wow! private booths everywhere, how cool!" and I took pictures of them. I know I know, it's sad, but it seemed so VIP-ish back then.

Amore's specialty is thin crust pizzas, baked in wood burning ovens. The service is attentive without being intrusive. For appetizers, they serve up a delectable spattering of breads, and the most awesome skinny breadsticks I've ever had. As an aside, I told one of the waiters once how much I loved the breadsticks and he came back to the table with gobs of it. They have a fantastic selection of blended drinks that don't taste like they came out of a can. All the pizzas are just scrumptious, but I have to also mention the spinach ravioli and seafood soup (yes, really!) as standout choices too. Special shoutout goes to the calzones that are the size of your face. Order it, you'll see what I mean. I'd tell you about dessert, but I can't remember ever having room left in my stomach for them. I have absolutely positively nothing to complain about when it comes to this place. One of the best things about Amore is that I've never known them to have an 'off night'...the food and service are just consistently good all the time. It's a safe bet for a good night out. My god...what have they drugged me with that makes me gush like this?! It must be addictive because I always go back for more.

Does this game look fun?

2010-03-27T12:44:00.001+03:00

I was at the Toys R' Us the other day and found this game on the shelf:

I thought you guys might get a kick out of it! Interesting huh?

A drive through, a la Saudi

2010-03-25T03:55:00.004+03:00

Ok, so last weekend, my hubby and I were being driven home from a late night out by our friends when we all collectively decided that it was the appropriate time to get ice cream from McDonald's. I know, high class all the way - that's how we roll.

When we pulled up to McDonald's at around 12:30am, it was packed! There were cars *everywhere* as we rolled up to the menu board. As we were waiting in line, an employee came up to the driver's window and greeted him personally, saying it had been a while since his last visit. Apparently, our friend is a regular at this location. They continued to chat for a little while and the man waved goodbye. Weird, I thought... but then it got weirder.

As we passed the menu board, we came upon another McDonald's employee standing on the curb. Meanwhile, I was thinking, "who's this? another VIP greeter?!" Nope, I was wrong. This is apparently how ordering is done here in Riyadh at midnight. No talking into the machine, no crackling voice coming out of half broken speakers, an actual person stands beside the board to take our orders! Our friend, the driver, began to break down how to construct a quadruple decker hamburger while I laughed hysterically in the back at the whole situation. After the orders were taken by the employee, we rolled on to pay at one window and then pick up at another, as per usual. We then capped it all off with another exceptionally happy looking McDonald's employee stationed at the end of the line to direct traffic in and out of the parking lot.

In our discussion of the five star McDonald's drivethru service, I found out that they do this in the UK as well. Well well well. It seems the whole man vs. machine debate has been not been unequivocally settled as far as drivethrus go!...

Tokyo Restaurant

2010-03-22T09:46:00.001+03:00

We went to this Japanese restaurant the other day, and it was great. I thought I'd never see sushi again when I moved to Riyadh, but I was dead wrong. They offer all the main dishes that you would expect of a japanese restaurant, but of course with their own spin. Not all the dishes will taste authentic (.e.g noodles), but many of them come close and are still tasty in their own way. They have fresh sashimi, and they do a really good tempura. It's also priced reasonably in comparison to places like Shogun.

Tokyo used to be a teppanyaki place, but they said they closed down that service because of complaints about the smells (!??!). Do not get too excited if you see a teppanyaki table - that knife show is not gonna happen for you. The family section is entirely sectioned into booths. I'm not sure about the singles section, but in general it's definitely not the fanciest looking restaurant in Riyadh. Like Diamond, it also has mirrors plastered all over the ceiling for some unknown, unholy reason.

My raving review must unfortunately come with one strong caveat. Tokyo is inconsistent. If you happen to be there on a day when their fish arrive, you will be extremely happy with your sashimi. If you happen to be there on a day where their stock is a few days old, you will taste it. So like shooting a dart blindfolded, but still worth a go if you're really missing your sushi.

Batha

2010-03-16T12:20:00.006+03:00

Okay guys, I just came back from Batha...sorry I've got no pictures because I was running errands while I was there.

Batha is a sprawling collection of shops and markets, so it's very easy to get lost there. The part I visited today was marked by a post office in the middle of a parking lot. Mental note: this is the first post office I've ever seen in Riyadh. It was empty. I didn't see any stamps. I don't understand!

Anyhow, the first thing you'll notice about the demographics here is a lot of Indians but also a lot of Filipinos. As a result, you'll find a ton of Filipino grocery shops and bakeries with delicious bread in them. The male to female ratio seems a bit higher at this souk than at Deira or Kuwaiti. That's just an anecdotal observation so I can't say it for certain, but if you get uncomfortable having too many sets of eyes on you at one time, this might not be the market to go to alone.

I believe I was wandering around in the electronics section of the Batha market, and consequently had nothing to buy. There are a couple of malls that are just full of computers, DVD players, TV's, clocks, etc. etc. Lots more back-of-a-van type stuff.

Batha also has a sizeable fish market and you can smell it from a mile away. I won't lie, it's pretty nasty looking, but I'm from Toronto where the closest thing we have to a fish market is Kensington, which is about ten notches up on the sanitary ladder to God, but then again, Canada is cleaner than most parts of the world. I know people who buy fish in Batha and they love it; they go out of their way to go there. So don't let me sway you either way.

Batha also has a fabrics section and many tailoring shops. We've accompanied a groom to help him choose material for a suit before, which was fun. This souk is definitely geared towards men, so there are a lot of men's clothing stores and shoe stores. Also, they have your usual cornucopia of junkyard sh*t - like a tower of duct tape next to a bin of socks, things like that.

They also have a row of uniform shops there, so you can buy yourself any kind of service industry outfit you need. Mechanic jumpers, maid outfits, waiters and stuff like that. If you're wondering why you would need anything like that, well I don't know. I'm just telling you what I saw!

Regarding safety, people recommend that you cover your head there and at Dira as well because there are supposedly a lot of Muttawa nearby. I know a woman who got her boob grabbed at Batha. And there are rumours of people getting stabbed in the Kuwaiti Souk. People have also talked about being mugged too. Well my only advice is to be alert, don't get lost, and try and bring a friend with you if you can. I've gone alone against common advice because I don't have any friends ha ha ha. I'm kidding (sort of). That being said, I didn't see too many other women there walking around by themselves. Riyadh's already restrictive enough without all the fear-mongering chatter, so do make a visit to Batha if you're curious - I, your internet friend - think you'll be fine. Just watch out for your boobs!

picnic under a bridge

2010-03-13T00:37:00.003+03:00

Okay, I have been wondering about this ever since I came to Riyadh. I think I'm going to have to ask you readers to enlighten me because I can never get a respectful answer out of an expat about this.

Why do I so often see Saudi families parked by the highway having a picnic? The bridge thing I see a bit more when it gets to summer, but right now...it's not that hot in the daytime. And just today, we were driving home from the mall, and I saw it with my own two eyes - a family with a van parked right off the road, happily sitting in lawn chairs in a neat row on rocks and dirt beside their car, having a picnic! I don't really buy the whole idea that families are by the road just for the breeze they get from the cars whizzing by cuz as I said, it's a good temperature this time of year. I know there's a sorry lack of green space in the city. Perhaps because I live on a compound which is relatively lush, with grass everywhere, I don't quite "get it" - but I still don't think I completely understand what drives families to partake in this roadside ritual...

Deira Souk

2010-03-09T12:31:00.009+03:00

Went on the bus today to the Deira Souk. The souks are all a little bit different, so I thought I'd do a post on the ones that expats frequent the most.

The Deira souk goes by a bunch of different names - some people call it the Clocktower souk, because of the clocktower right near the large square. It's actually a beautiful square, built in classic Saudi style. The square is known to Westerners as "Chop Chop Square" because this is where public executions are held. That sounds like the beginning of a joke, but there's no punchline because it's not a joke and they actually happen(!). Rumour has it that if a westerner happens to be at the square during an execution, they will get pushed to the front to ensure the guest has a proper view. **edit - I've been informed that the public executions are now held in the areas where crime actually takes place, and that they've stopped holding executions in the square in the last four or five years** Deira is also known occasionally as the gold souk, but both the Kuwaiti and Deira souks have jewellery sections, so referencing the "gold souk" could be either place. Who knows, there could be other gold souks in the Riyadh too?

Next to the square is Al Musmak Castle.

It literally looks like a sandcastle you might build on a beach. It's actually been converted into a nice little museum and I definitely recommend a visit there to snoop around.

The history of the castle is recounted through displays in arabic and english, so don't be shy. It's like a maze inside, but you won't get lost as there's huge arrows everywhere, so don't worry you have nothing to be afraid of. Just be careful you don't fall down the well because there's all kinds of dead bodies down there.

OKAY this is turning out to be a long post. I guess I'll get to the stuff you actually care about, as in - what can you buy there? Well, let's see. You can buy gold and jewellery, abayas, some "saudi" decorations for your house (which won't be Saudi, they will be from India), maybe some kids clothing...um....that's about it on the list of things that you might realistically purchase in this souk. I made a map for anyone interested to get an idea of where things are. It's not to scale or pretty, it's just to give you a general idea of what to expect, because I know it's easy to get lost in the souks. I think you should be able to enlarge the picture by clicking on it.

In the square near the parking lot is a man who sells honey, and it's very good. He has honey from Russia, Pakistan, Yemen, Iraq, all over the place, and he is happy to give you a taste if you ask for it. It's not a big shop, a bit of a dive really. If you get there and go, "whoah, hold on, why is the honey in gasoline containers?" I have no answer for you. I try not to ask questions like that when I go to the souks.

So there you have it! Deira in a nutshell

child drivers

2010-03-06T10:56:00.006+03:00

One peculiarity of Riyadh is that there seems to be no minimum age where Saudis deem it acceptable for one to begin driving. As such it's not unusual to see young boys behind the drivers seat in a vehicle - it's a daily occurrance to see them on the road. And let me stress that the correct label to apply is indeed "boys" as it is questionable as to whether even half of them have passed puberty yet. This whole post was prompted by a picture I took of a boy in the car next to us at a traffic light (decided not to post it). He had no seatbelt, and his little brother was sitting next to him in the passenger's seat, also with no seatbelt, and barely able to see over the dashboard. Oh yeah, and big brother also had a lollipop sticking out of his mouth. Nice touch.

Needless to say, I cannot fathom what twist of logic brings a society to the conclusion that a Y chromosome makes little boys more fit to drive than me. But here we are. >blah blah blah angry angry arghh!! blah blah blah<

Blatant sexism aside, what of the question of what age a person is deemed old enough - mature enough - to drive?? Is 16 a logical and fair number, or is it arbitrary? A lot of countries have a minimum age of 18. But I understand in parts of the U.S. that have a lot of farmland, some people have to learn how to drive in their early teens out of practicality. Here, where only men can drive, the policy cuts into the number of drivers in a household; does it necessitate that men learn at a younger age in order to keep everything running?

You know, I think I can see people debating age, but I can't see them debating seatbelts. Seatbelts won this debate a long time ago. Back to that picture, it just totaly riles me up for a mulititude of reasons. And every time I look at it I just want to rip that lollipop out of that boy's mouth and knock it on his skull till he put his seatbelt on! I should probably just delete it...

Diamond Restaurant

2010-03-05T21:27:00.004+03:00

Of course I have to blog about Diamond now that I've mentioned the Localizer. Because why? Because Diamond restaurant is located in the Localizer mall. One of the entrances is located inside at the end near the Second Cup, the great and hallowed Canadian landmark.

We went this past Thursday night with a group of people to eat around nine and boy were we glad that we had reservations. This place was hopping. The decor was Asian, reflecting the menu, and some of the booths had those Chinese style roofs jutting down from above. There's also a porn style smattering of mirrors on the ceiling, which I had a good laugh about. But the best part of the layout is that the entire section in the middle is quite open instead of sectioning everyone off into booths, and it makes you feel like you're at any other restaurant in any other city.

I cannot resist going into detail about their Happy Birthday serenade. At Diamond, it is not singing, it's drums and chanting. And when I say drums, I don't mean little toy drums, I mean loud, booming, conversation stopping drums. After the seventh time it 0can get a bit old. And I'm not using poetic license here - I literally counted seven Happy Birthday Beheading Jungle Chants.

Anyhow, onto the thing you actually care about, the food. The food was good. I would describe it as Asian fusion rather than real Asian food. Spoiled little me from Toronto will attest that none of it is really how true Chinese, Thai, Japanese or Korean food is prepared, but Fusion has its own rightful place as a type of cooking style, and they do a decent job of it. I'm sure it depends on what you order, but everything we had was satisfying. The Noodle House in Centria Mall is probably a level above this in their fusion food - but Diamond's not too bad as long as you are not expecting expert Schechwan cooking from a Master Chef. I guess ditto goes for Mirage and the Gulf Royal (or is it Royal Gulf?) that are all part of the same chain and therefore have the same menu.

The day a true Chinese or Korean man sets up a proper, quality shop in this city is the day they decimate the competition. And that is the day I will show up expectantly, holding a pair of chopsticks and a camera.

Localizer Mall

2010-03-04T23:56:00.005+03:00

I was at the Localizer this weekend and thought I'd write a bit about it. The Localizer is famous for being one of the pre-eminent male malls of Riyadh. Sound ridiculous? It's totally not! It's a mall where men are allowed to roam free without being bothered by security for travelling in packs. What kinds of things can you buy there? If you are really into expensive T-shirts, you have just found paradise. If you would like to have an animal of your choice stuffed at a machine - well again, you are in luck. And a watch covered in fake diamonds? Boy, you are on a roll!

Many of the malls in Riyadh have a no singles policy in effect on the weekends, a rule designed mainly to keep groups of young men from harrassing women. Which sort of begs the question of where these men *are* harrassing women if it's not at malls. In Toronto, we have designated harrassment spots: clubs, bars, Yonge street... It's very different for Saudi men though, very different indeed.

To be fair, if you live here, you might understand why single men are banned from malls on the weekend. It's not like I haven't had obscene things whispered into my ears before, but there's a different quality to the rude stuff you see here when you do see it - something a bit more intense. In such a conservative country you can sort of see why there's no tolerance for it. I just don't know whether to be glad about the ban, or feel sorry for the men.

Anyhow, there you have it. Localizer Mall. Enjoyyy

Canada demolishes USA

2010-03-01T23:18:00.005+03:00

OKAY folks, if you are Canadian, you know that hockey is not just a sport. It is THE sport. Yesterday's Olympic gold medal match was not just about winning another gold, it was about a long standing David and Goliath competition that has been going on for years now. It's not just that we won gold in a magnificent overtime goal by a god on skates, no, it was that we won it against the U.S. Don't get me wrong - the U.S. is our friend, our affectionate if not a bit opinionated big brother. But when it comes to hockey.... oooh boy, that is different. That is like the war of 1812 where we draw the line, stand our ground, and if need be, shoot you mofo's down and set fire to your White House.

The truth is, we know we are outmatched by our neighbour to the south in practically every way. They have more money, more people, more talent, more brainpower, more tanks and guns, more glitz and grandeur, more power, more everything than us. And now, even the NHL which was Canada's domain in the golden Gretzky years is dominated by American teams, and has been for a while. It makes Canadians sad. Most of us don't cry about it, but some of us get quite close. And if you are from Toronto, you know we are extra miserable about losing our chance at the Stanley Cup every frickin frackin fruckin season since 19-fr@#ing-'67 ARGHefhiIHF!!!

Now when we look at the Olympics, and take all our boys back from the American teams they've migrated to, and we compare which country is better, it feels good to know that yes indeed, we are still better at SOMEthing! Yes, it's a bit of an inferiority complex that fuels the rage and passion, but can you blame us? We are small, and yes we do have a rodent as a national symbol, but doggone it, we don't always want to be famous for poutine and peacekeeping.

Anyhow, for anyone curious, I stayed up to watch this game. My friends at home are probably snickering at this, because I'm not a sports person at all. But being an ex-pat makes you patriotic. My hubby and I also went to the Canadian Embassy tonight to watch the game again, with pizza and beer - a traditional Canadian meal. We all stood for the national anthem at the end of the game and sang together. It was so nice to feel like we were close to home, where they are probably all still celebrating.... Go Canada Go!!!!

p.s. not that it affects his ability to govern, but doesn't Stephen Harper look a bit pudgy in a jersey?

Saudi houses

2010-02-28T10:21:00.005+03:00

So what's it like to be rich in Saudi Arabia? Well everyone lives in a castle. Don't believe me? See for yourself:

Hubster and I took a walk the other day. Prayer time rolled around and we weren't fast enough to get a coffee and sit down somewhere, so we went for a stroll instead, and it was so much fun! After you have circled your compound for the one hundred thousandth time, a walk outside when you're not being boiled alive is actually a lot of fun. The houses all look very different, as opposed to the entire communities in Canada that have basically the same house. We watched a bunch of people walking to their neighbourhood mosque during prayer, and then coming back to their homes afterwards. You'll notice that every house has a wall around it and the windows usually aren't terribly big. The style is reflective of the desire that this culture has for privacy. As you can see, no expense is spared when they are building their castles.

While we were out and about, a Saudi pulled up to us and asked us a couple of times if we needed any assistance. When we told him we were just out for a walk, he asked where we were from. Once he found out we were Canadian, he got all excited and gave us his phone number, telling us to call him if we ever need anything. It was nice to see a bit of that famous Saudi hospitality.

Hope we get to squeeze in a few more walks before it gets unbearably hot here.

Another day, another sandstorm

2010-02-27T16:42:00.006+03:00

We had a decent looking sandstorm pass over our way yesterday. I am so glad that when we left the house at noon we left all the windows open. That way, when we came back at four, we could enjoy the beautiful brown dusting of dirt covering everything we own. I am pretty much still typing on dust. It's a special kind of dust, though, somewhere between dust and dirt.

People say that you can smell a sandstorm. My olfactory nerves must be shot or something because I can never really detect the smokey smell that people say appears. The one thing that does happen to me, though, is coughing. It only takes a few breaths of that air to begin hacking away. My throat usually starts to burn or feel parched if I am in it for very long, so needless to say, everyone stays indoors.

The house arrest continues today (not to say that I'm not under house arrest *anyway*) as the sand clears up.

What are you supposed to do with that hose?

2010-02-24T17:46:00.004+03:00

So continuing on my bathroom theme....I can feel your excitement, reader. I feel it right through the computer screen....I thought it would be of interest to westerners to learn that most upscale bathrooms in a lot of the malls / hotels / restaurants you will frequent here in Riyadh have a hose in each stall perched daintily on the wall.

I've never touched one, because I'm working on the assumption that the probability of people using the hose prior to doing their business is far outstripped by the probablity that people are using it afterwards. Being Canadian and thus squeamish about anything that could remotely be theoretically dirty, I've often sat and pondered the hose issue. More than once, I have been washing my hands, asking my reflection, "what are you supposed to do with that hose?" But inevitably, once I leave the bathroom my curiosity moves onto other things, and out back in the open air the hose and its mysteries are left behind in the stall.

Well well well. Now we are covering it on my blog. Why? Because yesterday the heavens opened up and all my hose related questions were answered. Now my best guess was that you use it as you would a bidet. You know, to clean your nether-regions. I don't know why I thought it was a good guess...maybe because it was my only guess, because my imagination limits what I would do with a stream of water in a bathroom stall. Looking back, this doesn't make sense, because I've happened upon more than one stall where there was water *everywhere* - all over the seat, the toilet, the floor - everything. Now you are thinking "water gun" right? Well that's not totally off the mark.

Ladies and gentleman, it turns out people use the hose to clean off the toilet!!! After certain people do their business, we shall say...remnants are sometimes left over in different places.... So basically, the hose can help you be confident that the next user will not be shooting you a dirty look as you exit the bathroom.

Anyhow expats, hopefully this will save you from an embarrassing conversation somewhere in Riyadh. **edit - see comments for clarifications from the locals**

the horror...the horror...

2010-02-21T20:11:00.004+03:00

OK ladies and gentlemen be warned that this post is going somewhere that not all of you will be adventurous enough to follow. It's a scary scary place, and I want everyone to turn your nausea centres off, because we are going to the depths of depravity, a place that has not been touched by sunlight, goodness, or a mop in centuries. That's right, we are going to a gas station bathroom on the side of the highway, halfway to Bahrain.

My bladder was full when we pulled over to refuel. The three men in my car all took turns going into the men's bathroom while I tentatively stepped up to the open door of the ladies' loo. The smell hit me 3 feet away. I closed off my nasal passages and gingerly stepped in. Okay, it was dirty and the floor was wet, but I figured it was do-able. I looked into the first stall with its squatting bowl and there was litter everywhere. And I'm not talking office paper twinkie wrapper litter, I am talking no-man-woman-or-dog-should-be-seeing-this litter. Two words. Blood. Streaks. I can't describe the panic. The other two stalls were a similar blur. And I know this is a bit dramatic, but I actually let out a high pitched squeal and a "no no no!" inside the bathroom. When I emerged suddenly back into daylight, one of my friends was standing in front of the car. He asked me, "did I hear screaming in there?" Needless to say, we left. Travelling with men, they of course didn't understand at first. They made comments like "it didn't look that bad." and "what was so bad about it?" and "you just plug your nose." All I had to do was say, "There was blood..." and all three of them visibly shifted in their seats and decided I was completely justified in failing to do my business in the bathroom. The line of questioning came to an abrupt halt and the conversation changed to how high a sand dune needed to be for me to be comfortable taking a whiz.

The answer is about four feet.

=D

the maple leaf club

2010-02-21T19:41:00.003+03:00

So this past weekend we attended the Terry Fox charity event at the Canadian embassy. It was a fun night. I always enjoy the Canadian embassy events because I love the set up of their parties with the dance floor out under the open sky, and the food is pretty good. As always, the crowd is polite and nice - and it is fun for people watching as I think singles gravitate towards them. Women are in such high demand that you could be wearing a garbage bag and still receive compliments and attention.

Unfortunately, the only way to get to these events is to know someone who works at the embassy, as the maple leaf club holds events only for embassy staff to help them adjust to the Riyadh environment. No point in calling and asking about these events or parties because you must be a personal invitee of an embassy employee to get invited, and each employee only has a certain number of tickets they are allowed to purchase for friends and family. There's no email list serve you can tack yourself onto, it's just plain and simply who you know. We only go when we're invited by friends and have no way of getting tickets ourselves, so let me pre-emptively apologize for not being able to help you, dear readers.

Where, you ask, are the events for all the Canadians who don't work for the embassy who need assistance adjusting to Riyadh? *shrug* ...do I hear crickets?? ha ha, listen people, if anyone decides to start throwing parties for Canadians, you just let me know and I'll help spread the word ;) I think it's a real shame that our embassy doesn't hold regular events for all Canadians. They have the space and they could make a lot of money, but they just don't have the staff, and I suspect they don't have the inclination to do it.

(mis)directions in Riyadh

2010-02-20T12:30:00.002+03:00

So like many locations all over the world, Riyadh is a city that does not have numbers on all its buildings and doesn't have names for all its streets. Riyadh also boasts multiple names for some of their roads, which in the extreme case can have an English nickname, an Arabic shortname, and a full length Arabic proper name - which usually sounds something like "King Abdulaziz Mohammed Fahd III blah blah blah Road" When you have a population of fifty thousand, I suppose that doesn't matter very much. But when your city has millions of people in it and grows at a substantial rate every year, directions become a kind of complicated thing.

There's no such thing as "237 Bloor St West" here in Riyadh. HA! No, the way it works here is you have to describe the landmarks around the building you want to get to. Say you want to go to Jarir Bookstore. That's fine, there's like five of them, so here's your conversation with the driver: "It's off the highway, North Ring. You know North Ring? No? Okay, It's near Le Mall. You know Le Mall? No? Okay, it's across from Duo, that Italian restaurant. No? Great. What did you say? Exit 5? Hmm...I dunno is it off Exit 5? Where is Exit 5? Carrefour? Hmm... I dunno if there's a Carrefour there...WAIT there's a Carrefour IN Le Mall. Yes, that must be the one, it's where you have to get off the highway and then loop around, right? Yes yes, that's the one."

If you get in a car and don't know your general directions and major streets (hello, me) and are not talented in the way of having the above type conversations, it is very easy for you to say something like "Faisaliah" meaning that you want to go to the mall 5 minutes away, and then have the driver take you to "Faisaliah" the compound half way across the city. And then when you are almost at Faisaliah *compound* you might realize what has happened and unfortunately not have time to make it back to Faisaliah *mall* because prayer will be starting by the time you go all the way back. So instead, you just go home, aggravated, but now educated and enriched by the fact that you now know a compound called "Faisaliah" exists...TRUE STORY.

baby grabbing

2010-02-18T08:03:00.001+03:00

I was out at a mall the other day with a friend who had an infant with her. While we were sitting and waiting for our bus to show up, two Saudi women walked straight up to the baby and began cooing at her, inches away from her face. The first one was so excited she kissed the baby through her face veil. The second one did the same and went in for a grab. Unfortunately, the baby got scared and resisted, so that was the end of that. The women waved goodbye and happily went on their way.

To a western woman, the interaction was a bit strange because we have such a notion of personal space for infants that we rarely ever see strangers walk up to kiss and touch our children on their faces. Hands and feet are a little different for whatever weird reason and are deemed 'touchable zones', and before people pick up babies they always ask permission from the mother. Alarm bells immediately go off for most of us when this sort of ritual isn't followed, to be honest, because we aren't used to seeing anything else, and I reckon there's some notion buried somewhere that the only time people grab babies suddenly is when they want to steal or eat them. But I think it goes to show how babies and children are so cherished here in the middle east. Certainly, Riyadh feels built for them (though not for teens). I don't know how many castles and giant playgrounds I've passed in this city, not counting the elaborate play areas in all the major malls. It's sort of eye opening to see a little glimpse of affection come out of the local women here, because they seem so mysterious otherwise...

Happy Valentine's Day Not!

2010-02-14T12:17:00.003+03:00

Happy valentine's day to all you lovers out there. May your day be filled with romantic poems, red roses, kisses and all that jazz.

Here in Riyadh, this week merchants have been warned against selling red roses and anything red and/or heart shaped for Valentine's day. Celebration of this pagan holiday is really frowned upon, especially since the romantic theme inevitably sweeps young unmarried men and women together for a wild night of raunchy trysts at rendezvous points throughout the city. These sordid affairs usually consist of non-wining and dining at a nice restaurant, followed by going home (recklessly!) and sleeping (recklessly!) I jest but it doesn't bother me that much being a married woman. Hey, it ain't my country.

As I understand it many of the devout here in Riyadh, which I must underscore is very conservative, really believe in only celebrating the two Eids - a month of festivities at the end of Ramadan and a shorter one at the end of Hajj, the annual pilgramage to Mecca. These two festive periods are celebrated in relatively close proximity to each other on the calendar. In comparison, we have Christmas and New Years, Thanksgiving, Easter, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Halloween and I'll throw in birthdays because I've heard that the religious in riyadh don't celebrate them. I'll also throw in Canada Day and Victoria day...so let's just say we've got "excuses to have parties" kind of covered over the year. I can see how it might look a bit excessive. But man oh man if there's one kind of excessive I don't mind being accused of it's having too much fun! The good thing is that because we live on compounds and have access to the diplomatic quarter, we don't have to miss these celebrations as long as it stays respectfully on the down low and within our own communities - well hey, that's a compromise I am willing to take.

Faisaliah Friday Brunch

2010-02-13T09:20:00.003+03:00

I think I can pretty much let the pictures do the talking here, but if you get a chance to go, or if you are in the mood for a real treat, I highly recommend the buffet brunch on Friday from noon till four at the Faisaliah. No need to reserve, just show up hungry. It's quite pricey - around a hundred USD per person, but absolutely worth it for an amazing time. The pictures don't really do the buffet justice, as there are more food stations than this... I think this is really a must for every expat to do at least once while in Riyadh, because you might not get a chance to see something like this again. Labour and food costs are just too expensive to do something on this scale in Toronto. Kingdom also puts on a similarly lavish brunch on the weekends.

Alright I couldn't resist editing this post. How can I not comment on each of these pictures? They're magnetic! Okay... so in this pictures, I highly recommend the caeasar salad with bacon bits and shredded cheese. I know, you are thinking, "salad at a buffet? what a waste!" But seriously, it's high quality cheese, crispy bacon, and just the yummiest dressing on those leaves.

You can't see it in this picture, but don't miss the souffle. They bake it fresh for you on the spot!

There's this red and cream shotglass with white chocolate wings coming out of it in this picture on the lower right. The server said something like "mumble mumble spicy mumble" and pointed at them. It's delicious!! And, yes, it's spicy, but so good!

I'm a sucker for mussels. They were great. Make sure you get some of the different seafood sauces.

This Chinese noodle station was simply fantastic. I don't know how they make their broth, but it's pretty authentic chinese soup. It's a must.

Other highlights included fresh orange juice upon entry, and a man that walks around with a giant stick of grilled prawns. His job for the entire afternoon is to walk around and put prawns on people's plates. Also, there's a fresh grilling station that has beef tenderloin and seafood. It's all good, I guess, but I couldn't help commenting.

The jetlag the JETLAG!

2010-02-10T07:35:00.002+03:00

The hubster once told me that travelling West to East is often worse than travelling East to West. After hearing his explanation pontificating on the difference between losing hours and gaining hours, I filed his statement under "ridiculous" in my brain for about a year, along with the notion that delayed planes can "make up time in the air". Notably, I was wrong on both counts to accuse my poor hubster of talking nonsense. First of all, planes CAN make up time in the air as I've witnessed this very phenomenon take place, and secondly, the trip from Toronto to Riyadh is much much worse than the reverse. It's not just because the Korean food in Toronto is so much more awesome than it is in Riyadh so you're more excited. Wikipedia sort of explains the whole thing, and I can tell you from multiple trips crossing the Atlantic that losing hours completely screws up your circadian rhythms.

For me, the only thing that really works is waiting it out. Taking supplements and sleeping aids make me no less groggy during the day. The trick is to not succumb to the Nap Fairy - she is an evil succubus.

Google earth frightens me

2010-02-04T06:32:00.002+03:00

Okay, so does anyone else feel slightly alarmed that you can now float down to "street level" view on google earth and basically get a 360 degree view of any chosen spot in any chosen city as if you are standing right there?

yes yes, it's very cool, and my first reaction to it was that it was totally awesome that I could see my friend's car in her driveway as if I in the middle of the road in front of it. That happy feeling drained into dismay when I scrolled over to my high security compound in Saudi Arabia where I could see the exact layout of the inside of my compound and view pictures posted by random people on the internet of our swimming pools, restaurant, buildings, etc. etc. It's not a 360 degree view, but it's clear enough to make me feel threatened and paranoid that any random person can download Google Earth and pinpoint the perfect place to throw a "gift" over the wall.

You all know what I mean by "gift", right? RIGHT?!!

the obligatory expat meltdown

2010-02-02T08:11:00.004+03:00

Okay guys, now that I am over being stressed in Riyadh and have sunken into my relaxed retired stage, I can laugh about this.

A while back, probably on my second trip to Riyadh, I had a little incident at a grocery store that shall remain unnamed. The day had gone by quickly and I had gotten wrapped up with something I was doing at home. Suddenly, the prospect of cooking dinner was upon me but we had no food in the fridge and I had promised my husband a nice home cooked meal in the morning. (note to self: never promise anyone anything ever) I called the driver and asked him to come as soon as possible to take me to the nearest grocery store. And of course, when you need them to come quickly, they come very very *very* slowly. Fine and dandy, I said, as long as I get there. Well I got there, and began speed shopping. Part way through, there was some kind of muffled announcement that I couldn't understand. I was so focussed on my shopping that I didn't notice the doors to the grocery store closing. At the checkout counters, it finally dawned on me that prayer was fast arriving, so I rushed to try to find a short lineup, but at this point there were so many people lined up in each line, and cashiers disappearing by the minute, that I became panic stricken. I frantically chose a line. When the cashier cashed out the person before me but refused to do my groceries as well, I saw red. The hourglass was empty. I had lost.

For whatever reason, that day my neat bale of frustration collapsed in a heap with that last straw. Irate, I yelled at the cashier to cash me out while I slammed my groceries onto the conveyer belt. CASH ME OUT! Tomatoes. CASH ME OUT! Onions. NO HALAS! F*@K HALAS! Beef. IT ISN'T PRAYER YET!

Of course, no amount of shouting or cursing was helping. Instead, I was attracting security guards, which is always a great sign that your heaping public pity party has been a magnificent success. When I saw them coming, I knew it was time to cut my losses and I slipped out the last open door empty handed, still seething, with many sets of eyes boring into my back. To sweeten the humiliation, while I was waiting for my driver, the cashier and his buddies came out to laugh at me.

In retrospect, this whole situation makes me laugh quite a bit. I made such a scene over what? Over taco night??? The whole assumption that I would be able to get away with shopping last minute is just ludicrous in Saudi, especially given that I can't drive. I actually find it quite funny that I yelled at people and then couldn't drive away from them.

I'm writing this not because I want to lash out against Riyadh. It's just that I want you all to know that if you have a meltdown at some point because it seems like the city is deliberately sabotaging your plan to be happy with life - I understand, and it's okay. We've all been there. And if you haven't been there, you'll get there...and then you'll get past it.

some airlines to use

2010-01-26T22:02:00.006+03:00

Ok, so because a lot of expat time in Saudi is spent figuring out how to get out of Saudi, I thought this might be useful for those of you who are there and thinking "I need a break!" ...one myth that you might think when you get to Riyadh is that travelling must be cheap because everyone is doing it all the time. Nay. Thou art wrong. It's true people travel all the time and it's not because it's cheap, it's for sanity. Unfortunately, aside from major hubs like Paris, London, Frankfurt,etc. you are often looking at flights with connections when you go on vacation - something you will despise, but slowly, in time, accept.

For what it's worth, here's a breakdown of popular airlines in Riyadh:
Qatar - good food (like so good that you'll ask your neighbour if they're going to eat the cake or not), good service, online check in has some glitches, overall, one of the best in the region to fly with. On the expensive side.

Emirates - good food, good service, but long distances usually result in insanely long layovers in Dubai. Good news is that they will provide you with a hotel stay in Dubai as long as you call in to book it. For whatever reason the demographic makeup of this airline seems to be a lot of working class from the middle east. Also, tix tend to be pricey.

Lufthansa - your standard airline, generally reliable unless snow closes down their Frankfurt airport... This is a pretty popular option for those who can't afford the long Dubai layovers of Emirates. Don't expect anything more than average, but at least they are generally better than Air Canada - the national blight and terror of the skies. Unfortunately, when the two are paired together for routes and there are problems, you can be sure neither airline will take the blame.

Turkish Airways - decently priced, so it's popular with travellers. Don't spring for their business class, it's a waste. Planes are not the nicest, but they do the job, i.e. they haven't crashed in a while ha ha ha...ok sorry, couldn't resist.

Etihad - haven't flown with them but heard good things about them.

Saudi Arabia Airlines (Saudia) - haven't flown with them but heard bad things about them.

It's not a complete list, so feel free to chime in readers, if you've had a good or bad experience with an airline flying out of Riyadh. I am all ears if you have recommendations on what airlines to use.

the utter quiet

2010-01-13T09:58:00.002+03:00

For those unemployed expat women who come to Riyadh accompanying their husbands who have jobs, compound life is very quiet. Aside from sometimes hearing kids playing on the street, it's just always quiet, always sunny, and it can be isolating if you allow yourself to stay cooped up. For those who are more introverted and lean on others to pull them into a social network, it can be lonely.

On the flipside, those who attend compound events and go on the shopping bus regularly can find themselves quite busy socializing. Some women get really into hashing and desert trips. Some get onto the coffee morning circuit and even make good money selling their crafts or sausages, or what not. And a lot of women elect to sign up for a teaching job at an international school, though the hours can be bad and the pay isn't high.

For many, all the available quiet time could drive you insane, though I view it a bit differently. Riyadh is usually a place of transition for couples and families - and the quiet affords you all the opportunity to indulge in the hobbies that you've always wanted to pursue, and gives you time to reflect, something you usually don't have time for when you live in the West. And as always, time away from home gives you an appreciation for the luxuries you've had the good luck to grow up with.

Departing Riyadh

2010-01-12T20:11:00.004+03:00

no, no, its not what you think - not for good. What with all the travelling I've been doing lately, I thought I'd post something I wrote waiting for my plane at Riyadh's airport.

It’s a very special place. It’s almost always clogged with men travelling in packs. Abayas are not required at the airport, but given the amount of men around who do not consider staring rude, I tend to keep mine on until I pass through customs.

Security is always interesting because women go through a private section to be searched. Sometimes this can be nice, because on occasion they'll shuttle the women through ahead of the men. Most recently I was greeted by an arab woman who was on her cell phone during the entire search and communicated using gestures and angry noises. Maybe she wasn’t angry, but her eyebrows were certainly drawn that way. This was the first time my bra went off during a search where security wanted to know what was inside (answer: my metallic boobs). Also of note - the men’s prayer area, denoted by a large section of rugs. It’s quite a sight to see people on it in the open. At any given time, about half of them are engaged in the holy act of napping.

There’s a lounge at the airport that people can pay to get into. It costs 100 riyals and is totally not worth it. Firstly, it’s tiny. Secondly, the food sucks. Thirdly it’s always crowded. Fourthly, the bathrooms are never free. Fifthly, four reasons are enough to steer clear, let’s not be greedy.

I confess I am one of those hoverers during boarding. I always bring a big carry-on with me so I like to be among the first to board the plane to get that coveted storage space. I am seasoned in the art of strategic lineupping. Of course, even if you’re first in line you won’t necessarily be boarded in an order that seems logical and fair. Occasionally, depending on the airline and the types of people with tickets on your aircraft, you can have "the dome" formation of line-up, which is not a lineup, it is a bottleneck rush of madness.

Despite its drawbacks, the big crowning glorious prize is that at the end of it, you get to board a plane and go on a trip to visit friends or family, or be a tourist. For that, many expats would agree, the price they would be willing to pay is limitless. I'm no exception!

Riyadh Zoo vs. Wrist Slitting

2009-12-14T18:16:00.008+03:00

Which one wins for being the more fun thing to do? You be the judge.

This past weekend turned out to be fantastic wonderful weather. Sun shining and tummies full from a buffet, we set out for our first visit to the Riyadh Zoo. It seemed like the perfect weekend diversion.

After the first few exhibits, it turned into a pity-fest for us. The orangutans were almost bald, and one of them was limping around on a wounded leg.

It's a bit of a shock for a westerner to see animals being liberally fed by the public. There is a good reason why you are not allowed to do so in any other zoo, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out that maybe junk food isn't good for animals (in much the same way it isn't good for humans) not to mention any of the psychosocial factors that weigh into having stuff pelted at them. Popcorn, chocolate bars, used napkins, empty bottles - you name it, it was thrown at an animal at some point. I'm sad to say that it wasn't just the children behind things like that. Makes you wonder whether the right animals have been locked up!

And then there were the curious exhibits that seemed to throw random animals together. See if the below picture makes any sense whatsoever to you. Enlighten me if this mimics any kind of natural habitat anywhere on the face of the earth, and where this mystical place might exist.

On the upside, we did get to see some beautiful animals. The white tigers were stunning and they seemed to be in good shape.

I suppose the whole idea of a zoo itself might be a remnant of our past. They originated before things like television, internet and digital cameras, and it would have been the only way people got to see anything exotic. It seems wrong these days to domesticate wild animals for entertainment value.

The thought of these poor things living through the sweltering heat of a Riyadh summer makes me feel terrible. I'm far from a crazed animal activist (see previous entry on cats), but even I regretted the visit simply on the grounds that humans shouldn't kick ostriches in the face when their child has just offered them a piece of garbage to chew on.

Seriously, what kind of sociopath does that?!

Seriously!

Now you've been warned, so visit at your own risk...

Average expat age = 500 years old

2009-11-19T12:52:00.002+03:00

No, not really, but sometimes it seriously feels that way.

I've heard people say that Dubai is for people in their 20's, Abu Dhabi is for the 30's, and Riyadh is 40+... I'm inclined to agree. Perhaps I'm just hopelessly not plugged into the right set here but on certain days, I wake up and I'm convinced that my hair is falling out, my joints are sore, and all I want is prune juice and Matlock for breakfast. In honour of my newfound agedness, I've applied labels to all my postings so that you, my dear readers/lurkers, can access the subjects better. Also in honour of my agedness, I managed to confuse myself with applying the labels to the postings, so you know...if things are out of place... what day is it again?...what was I writing about? Time for some vitamins!

Spazio

2009-11-17T14:29:00.002+03:00

What to say about Spazio? This ritzy restaurant is located at the top of the Kingdom Tower and it's got quite the view inside. The ambiance is wonderfully rich.

If only the food could match the view. This restaurant is top of the line for presentation but loses serious marks when it comes to 'fine dining' - I'm not a serious foodie, so if I can tell that it's not up to par, it really must be very mediocre. I ordered the crispy salmon packets and what turned up was salmon bits wrapped in wonton wrappers. Crispy yes, tasty no. Oily and bland, it was a disappointment. The soup I ordered was fennel and green apple - but it tasted like cream, salt and apple bits. The sushi was not fresh. Even the service was noticibly lacking for a restaurant that didn't seem very full. The waiter didn't pull out my chair, and wasn't really paying attention to our table, though at least the water glasses were kept full. After full service and the works at the Cristal where the chef heard the hubster was on a diet and served up a fruit plate (off-menu) for him for dessert, it was really hard not to compare, especially since we ordered much more at the Cristal for less money. It was still a great evening, and of course your company matters much more than what you eat, but I would say that if it's fancy food that you're after, give this restaurant a pass.

Riyadh's Secondhand Souk

2009-11-17T14:07:00.008+03:00

So I finally made it out to the Secondhand Souk after more than a year in Saudi. I heard about women getting fantastic deals at this souk, finding clothes with the tags still on them, unworn ball gowns for 30 riyals, and I couldn't resist the lure any longer. Here is a pic I took on our bus pulling up to the souk:

In my head, I was picturing the Kuwaiti Souk, but in reality, it kind of turned out to be a really big garage sale. A paradise for some, and a junkyard for others.

There are lots of different parts of this souk - it's huge. They have a lot of furniture there, rugs and upholstery shops, tons of kitchenware, so if you're not looking for clothes, there are lots of other areas to explore. I was in the market for a ball gown. I searched high and low throughout the clothing section, but many of the selections looked like the following samples:

Apparently, many of the locals don't mind dressing up as christmas ornaments...I decided to buy a gown somewhere else. I'm told that you really have to hunt if you're looking for something more simple. I would definitely recommend the souk for cheap abayas and children's clothing, though. Some of the women pulled out gorgeous dresses for their daughters there.

As for safety, I felt a little bit more self conscious here than at other souks. All the women covered their hair on exiting the bus, and the souk was very quiet. It's a bit unnerving when you've lost track of all the other members of your group. We went in the morning, so perhaps it tends to be more on the quiet side in the day, but I felt much safer at the Kuwaiti souk in the evening when there were plenty of people bustling around.

Anyhow, for those of you who love garage sales, definitely check out this souk - you won't be disappointed.

Why men get fat in Saudi

2009-11-14T00:22:00.002+03:00

So this is how it happens. Man X comes to Saudi on contract for a year. He goes through a lot during the transition, but eventually settles in. He can't convince his hunny at home to come with him, or he doesn't have a hunny. Nearing the end of year one, his favourite pants rip a couple of times and his trusty belt struggles to hold his guts in on the last notch. Finally Man X gets on a scale and finds he's gained 15 pounds. Why? Why is he so fat now?!

1. Not a walkable city - temps make it unbearable for half the year plus the city is not designed for it. No mass public transport systems (segregation would be an issue), no substantial green space, basically, no point to walking anywhere at any time.

2. You get fries with everything.

3. Men on their own go to work all day and end up eating out all the time. Problematic because of #2 and no women around to tell them to chew or breathe during meals. This is worsened when men go out to eat with other men who measure manhood by portion sizes.

4. Cultural friction increases workplace stress. This increases stress eating. Problematic because of #2

5. Lack of entertainment options other than eating and shopping.

6. It gets lonely and you work hard, so why not treat yourself to a bit of cake? Or a whole cake? Or three whole cakes? Who's going to stop you?

7. Mayonnaise

8. Ice cream

9. No one to impress here.

10. Lack of peer pressure to be thin - Friends A, B and C are fatter than you, so by these new standards, you are actually not that bad. Therefore, let's have a hot dog.

Pets or Pests?

2009-11-09T04:56:00.004+03:00

Are you a cat lover? You are? Okay, then we're enemies.

CATS. There's an arrogance about them. The way they ignore you when you call them. They do what they want, when they want. How is there even a comparison to dogs? Dogs are eager to please, they want to love you, they want to get that stick for you, they want to protect you, they want to sit when you tell them to, and will do anything for treat, everything to show you what a good and wonderful dog they are...

And cats? Cats calculate. They're selfish. They'll never fetch a stick for you because in their little cat minds they say to themselves, "What did you throw that stick for? I'm not getting it." And yet, when they're hungry or thirsty, suddenly they sidle up to you, rubbing against your leg, wanting to be friends. What kind of friend is that? Should we reward such manipulative behaviour? Nay. I have allergies to them, hubster has allergies to them, and they are just everywhere on the compounds. Some of them are even aggressive, following you, meowing at you for your entire evening walk. They are unresponsive to hissing, stomping, shouting, water, flip flops, and jabs with crutches. The other day, I got a picture of these PESTS. See what lazy animals they are when they're fed?! You SEE?!

My solution: feed them to the dogs.

=D

Red Sands Hash

2009-11-07T12:32:00.003+03:00

This is one of the most memorable hashes I have been on. It's totally worth the effort to make it out to the desert. A good portion of the desert around Riyadh is rocky and dull, but these dunes were really beautiful. We got up to the top of one of the highest dunes in that area and were rewarded with incredible views. A couple pics here for ya. This first one is before we started the walk.

This next pic was taken just after climbing a huge dune. If you've never climbed up a steep dune before, I can tell you it's hard work. No one made it up the hill in one go - everyone, even the most fit people - had to stop to catch their breaths every ten steps or so. It is like doing the stairmaster on the highest setting and you literally inch up the hill because you sink down with each step. You can see in the distance a little cluster of people. That's everyone at the top trying to stuff their hearts back into their chest cavities.

where do I get that thing I need? aka shopping for newcomers

2009-11-04T11:41:00.005+03:00

I know when we first got to Riyadh, we had a whole host of things we believed that Riyadh did not have until we found out where to go to get them. I'm patching together a long and rambling list of that kind of stuff from memory, for all of you new arrivals out there.

110/220 volt kitchen appliances - SACO
For anyone living on compounds that believe converters fry their machines and want to bring them back home to the West after your stint here, Saco has a wide selection of internation toasters, kettles, etc. SACO is our Canadian Tire, so it contains all kinds of kitchen stuff, but also anything hardware related, so you'll get those extension cables, tools, some patio furniture, lightbulbs, some garden equipment, patio furniture etc. etc.

electronics - EXTRA
Alarm clocks, USB sticks, wireless routers, radios, TV's, electric razors, water coolers...OK, you're probably thinking that it's silly to get a water cooler but on our compound at least, everyone has them. The compound store sells huge jugs for about 2 dollars each, and once you find out how they process their tap water here in Saudi, you will fork over the one hundred beans to get your water cooler as well.

art supplies, english books - JARIR
Jarir bookstore will save you from gouging your eyes out when you don't want to watch TV or surf the net.

favourite foods - TAMIMI SUPERMARKET
You miss Ruffles too? Sour Cream and Onion? Yeah, I hear ya. Wish you had that good ol' U.S. steak? Uh huh. Can't find Ginger Ale anywhere? Been there. Done that. Tamimi is your best bet for meats, sauces, and drinks that you can't seem to find in other grocery chains. It has the widest selection of U.S. products since it's owned by Safeway. This is the only place people in the know go to buy their steaks. Another note on food: every grocery store is different when it comes to stocking specialty items (e.g. seaweed for sushi, wasabi, miso paste), so if you come across something that you haven't seen on your other shopping trips, do yourself a favour and buy extra because chances are they won't be there next time.

a good vegetable peeler - CARREFOUR, Many others I assume...
I don't know why, probably bad luck, but I couldn't find this, even after going to the grocery store many many times. I just didn't know where to look. The "Good Grips" line of peelers, which you will find in the knife section at Carrefour has sharp peelers, and you will be in peeling heaven with their products.

internet - WIMAX from Mobily
This is the current favourite - it's user friendly and easy to set up, but it has gotten very popular and as a result, the speeds have gone way down. I'll report back if something else better has come up

cell phone service - Mobily
generally reliable service, and most importantly, there are outlets all over the city where you can pay your bills through automated machines. Just a few tips - this applies to banks as well. You will likely run into problems. Expect that mistakes will be made and just live with it. Be patient and persistent when you're asking them to fix something, and get names & business cards so you can follow up should a promise not be delivered. If simple paperwork or a correction in the computer needs to be made, stay there and stare at them until they do it. =D Good luck!
**edit** - guys, I forgot to mention that the pay as you go option is probably the easiest thing you can do for yourself. I found out recently that we can put money on our phones at our compound store, which makes it super convenient. This also cuts out the hassle of paying a monthly bill and trying fruitlessly to correct billing mistakes made on your account.

cell phones - ??
sorry, I haven't found a good outlet yet. Why are they so outrageously priced? Until I find a good place to buy one, I suggest that you bring your GSM cell phone from your home country.
**edit** - see my posting on "dirt cheap cell phones"

that dang abaya - KUWAITI SOUK / DEIRA SOUK / KINGDOM COFFEE MORNING
If you buy an abaya at a mall, you are getting royally screwed, a thousand times over. Get yourself to either of the above two souks - probably any souk will do, I just haven't been to other ones - and you should be able to get a nice abaya plus headscarf for 120 riyals. 150 is still okay. Anything above that is highway robbery. Bargain down and be warned: they judge your wealth by your skin tone. Kingdom Coffee Morning is a must for any ex-pat woman new to Riyadh - held on the first monday of every month, this is the place to go to get the abayas with the colourful hoods so that you don't need to bring a headscarf around with you.

shopping malls that do not specialize in sequined material - HAYAT / GRANADA
I've posted about Kingdom mall already. It's really not the best mall. My two favourite malls are Hayat and Granada because both malls have a variety of stores in them, not just women's clothing. Granada is a small mall near the airport, but I have a fondness for it because it has watch stores at a range of prices, it has a traditional arabian store in it if you're not in the mood to go to a souk for a maa-salama gift, a few sports / sports clothing stores, Extra, and a grocery store. And Hayat is a larger version of Granada. For the record, Saudi Arabia has killed my desire to ever see sequins on anything ever again.

home decor - IKEA
also covered in previous posts. It's out in the middle of nowhere, but this Ikea will not fail you. An honourable mention goes out to the Danube at Hayat mall. It has a reasonably nice home decor section and miles of plates, serving platters and related oddities, like ceramic bowls shaped like cupcakes - stuff like that. We bought our nice big fluffy down pillows from the now closed Kika at Riyadh Gallery, RIP. You may still want to check out Mr. Price, it's reincarnation, at Riyadh Gallery for such things as bedding and pillows, though IKEA is probably the first stop I would make for all such items, because it's one stop shopping.

business suits - HUGO BOSS / CANALI
For those with the need for high quality suits, but don't expect the staff to know what they're talking about or have proper tailors in shop.

women's clothing - Stores you'll find in Riyadh in general: Guess, Costa Blanca, Banana Republic, Zara, Urban Behaviour, Marks & Spencers, Mango, Benetton, Esprit, LV, Coach, Gucci, Tiffany's, Debenhams, Harvey Nichols, Nine West, Payless Shoes, Pull & Bear, Promod, Sephora, Body Shop, etc. etc. So basically don't worry about clothes - you'll find whatever you need here, and if you LIKE sequins, you have just won the lottery of your life, my friend.

a car. a huge car. a monstrosity. - GMC / TOYOTA / LANDROVER
Buy a huge SUV for your own safety as you will be rear-ended or worse here, guaranteed. Buy a car that includes a warranty, and choose a common car that will have parts available and a reputable mechanic service. Do not buy a used car older than 5 years. Do not buy a used car from anyone else but the original dealer or another ex-pat who takes good care of it. Be persistent to get your test drive and do your own research. If you're from Europe, cars are cheaper here. If you're not, they're the same price, sometimes more.

I know this is a departure from my usual posts, but I thought it might be useful. Back to our regularly scheduled programming next post.

piggy buntered

2009-11-02T00:55:00.002+03:00

I've learned a new british slang term. In certain parts of Britain, if you're a certain type of British lady, and you are feeling absolutely stuffed after a meal, you might comment to your friends that you're "piggy buntered"

This is not to be confused with "piggy buggered", which is a term that does not exist unless you're a Canadian with a short term memory problem. "Buggered", I was told tonight, is rude. And when you say it, it makes proper British people squirm uncomfortably in their seats. It makes less proper British men laugh while they try to explain what it means to you.

I love the Brits, but why can't they just use normal english to address everything instead of having slang for everything? Anyhow, I'm *knackered* so I'm going to bed.

more on bbq's

2009-11-02T00:49:00.002+03:00

So, yours truly has gone through someone else' trash and come away with a new/old barbeque. Yes, I'm pleased with myself, because in a country that does not recycle, I have defied the status quo of the establishment.

Oh hell. I just love getting stuff for free.

It's a small rectangular bbq and it is not flashy but it does the job. It's probably worth about $20... Hubster has not touched a grill in a long time so yours truly worked it all out this weekend. I never understood the whole man + meat + fire thing before, but I think I get it. Grilling is awesome. It smells awesome, it feels awesome, and I am roasting some chestnuts tomorrow on it!!

Cristal

2009-10-28T09:24:00.003+03:00

There's lots of good restaurants in Riyadh, but I have to say that Cristal is one of the best ones they have here. It's real fine dining.

Cristal is located on the ground floor of the Faisaliah and it's almost always empty if you arrive when it opens. There is one advantage to eating at an empty restaurant though - the service. The head chef came out and talked to us for a little while before we ordered, and then it seemed that the manager, the maitre D and the waiter were all competing to serve us. They even switched our bread basket mid-meal to make sure that bread would be warm. At the end of the night I had a headache and they brought out some Panadol on a plate for me. That's service!

The hours are a bit of a mystery - it's not open on Fridays and when we got there on Monday night, they opened at 8pm. So you might want to call before you get there. But all in all, better food and value than the Globe, even though the view is pretty spectacular up there.

hot ghetto mess

2009-10-22T01:30:00.005+03:00

One of the joys of living on a compound is that you get to meet people from all over the world. You're thrown together with people you would never think that you would get along with, but somehow you just do. I think the best thing you can do is laugh about your differences - to me, it's a lighthearted way of celebrating them. You might wanna skip the rest of this post if you don't agree....

Today I spent some time with an African American woman and we had a good laugh talking about stereotypes about our cultures and of course, every ethnic person's favourite target - white people. We also evaluated our own levels of whiteness. To find out how white you are, I recommend consulting this list.
www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com
My personal favourites of stuff white people like: "being the only white person around" "standing still at concerts" and "appearing to enjoy classical music" - in my opinion, there's a blaring hole in the list. Where is "sailing"???

Anyhow, somewhere in our conversation my friend agreed to teach me ebonics. My first lesson was learning the term "hot ghetto mess." What is it? When a woman pulls up to the Wendy's drivethrough and her cheque bounces, it's a hot ghetto mess. I'm not making this up, it's on youtube.
Wendy's Drivethrough Story

It's basically any problem that a person experiences that's 'ghetto'...and the problem can range from a heated yo' mama argument on the bus to poor clothing choices. You don't have to be black to be ghetto. Youtube it. Google it. Seriously.

I recommend this site to educate yourself on all the aspects of "hot ghetto mess."
www.hotghettomess.com

peace out.

Ha ha halloumi!

2009-10-21T04:59:00.002+03:00

I discovered the best cheese here. The first time I tasted Halloumi, I thought it was God-awful. Weird texture, way too salty, I went "blech" and thought I'd put it down forever. Then I found out you're supposed to COOK it!!! I fry slices of Halloumi on medium/high heat and throw a thai red chilli in to give it a kick. With a layer of sizzling oil, you fry a minute on each side, and when you do it right, you'll have a nice crunch to the outer shell and then a soft almost-gooey texture in the centre. It tastes amazing on salads and vegetables (especially fried red/green/yellow peppers) and goes well with fennel, rosemary, mint, any strong herb. It's the cheese of the year in my books.

Oh man, I want to halloumi right now.

bbq 4evR

2009-10-10T13:02:00.002+03:00

Ahh...the favourite past time of all expats in Riyadh. The BBQ. On weekends, I love walking around and smelling that charcoal lighting up on all corners of the compound. We don't have the place for it, but we are lucky enough to get invitations from our friends who do, and there ain't nothin' like a good cookout.

Part of the joy of living on a compound is being able to walk around without your abaya on to visit friends living nearby. Even if you haven't made specific plans for the weekend, it's nice to get out, sit by the pool in your skimpy bikini (gasp!), and receive impromptu invites to bbq's. We've made friends here through our living circumstances that we would never have made back home. When different age groups, backgrounds, and etc. get together, it invariably centers around putting some meat on a grill. Inside these high security walls, there's such a sense of community through shared hardship that I'm sure I will miss it when I leave. At home in Canada, people go back into their holes during the week and there's no such thing as walking down the block on a Monday night to sit down on a friend's couch and shoot the sh*t. When you're away from your favourite malls, your favourite coffee shop, your favourite sushi and pho restaurants, and most of all, your favourite people, it makes you incredibly grateful for a BBQ.

maintenance changes our lightbulbs

2009-10-03T12:49:00.004+03:00

I wonder if people will lose respect for me when they find out I do zero amounts of housework. I'm just not very good at it, and I can't motivate myself to clean things that I know will only get dirty again. I don't have kids, but we have a maid anyway who comes in twice a week because we can afford it here, whereas back home in Canada maids are very expensive in comparison, and I have to make a half-hearted effort to clean up after myself =(

Many families love it out here because the help is cheap and living in a compound makes having a house pretty easy. If anything goes wrong you just call maintenance and they'll fix it for you. When I say anything, I really mean anything. Like, if you can't reach the lightbulbs on the ceiling, they'll come by with a ladder and change them for you, and if you can't figure out why your freezer door is not closing, they'll fix that too. Living on a compound is expensive, so it's not like we don't pay for these services, it's just that I know that is one big thing that I will miss about Saudi Arabia when I go home. I just can't stand cleaning!!!

pork substitutions

2009-10-03T05:41:00.005+03:00

As you all know, pork is illegal here in Saudi. In Dubai, you can go into grocery stores and those products are in their own dirty little section, but in Saudi they are banned outright. I confess, I'm not huge on pork. In Canada, I typically choose chicken and beef over pork. Pork's just...I dunno. It's just there sometimes. It's that in-between kind of meat, in terms of flavour. I don't miss it all that much.

That being said, I believe there are a couple of no-sub pork items that just don't taste as good with beef when you've gone oink. I'm reminiscing here, so I hope no one takes offense. Perhaps sone of you are disgusted with me now, but all I can say is oink. Oinkity oinking oink pig snort oink!!! =D

Exhibit A: BACON

Beef bacon is okay, but I think beef bacon will always be jealous of pork bacon, like Cinderella and her step-sisters. No, to be fair, actually some of that beef bacon is pretty good, and pretty close to the 'real thing' but I swear I can taste the difference. Please do NOT even defile me with the mention of gobble gobble bacon. That's just revolting... My favourite bacon dish? Brussel sprouts fried with bacon and walnuts. Yes, I miss pork bacon terribly. There's a specific ache near my spleen that aches only for oinky bacon.

Exhibit B: BABY BACK RIBS

Okay, now this picture just says it all. I don't have to write anything, but I will. There's nothing more succulent and flavourful than a slow roasted rack of baby back ribs. It must be the pork fat that makes it so perfect. There is a reason why God put pigs on the earth, and ladies and gentlemen, this could be it.

As a sidenote another product that can be difficult to get in Saudi is Vanilla. Not the cream or powder - I'm talking the delicious smelling dark liquid - the nectar of the gods that make cakes and cookies so delectable. Those of you who have it in your house in the West take a look at your bottle of vanilla and you'll see our dear friend Mr. Alcohol, another banned substance here in Saudi.

Toys Toys Toys

2009-09-15T16:05:00.011+03:00

So I shop a lot at Carrefour, a chain of grocery stores here in the Kingdom. The stores stock half food/grocery items and half completely random sh*t. The random half usually has a household section and an electrical section, a section where they sell tacky clothing, etc. etc. And of course there are the toys. Now don't get the wrong impression - they do have cheap knock-off western toys, but I think what's more fascinating to see are the muslim geared items.

For instance, muslim Barbie.

And a board game to teach young muslims that mosque can be fun (???) I'm terribly curious about how to play this game, so if any of you could shed light on this, I'd be uber grateful. I won't lie, there is a part of me that really really wants to buy this game just to see what's inside.

Here's another one. I assume that the game doesn't really revolve around washing your face and going to the bathroom, 'cause I mastered those skills at four and fail to see the challenge in that.... No, it must have something to do with prayer time, am I right?

And this is just a picture I took at Ikea. This is their stuffed beaver display and it reminded me of home. There's something kind of macabre about seeing your national mascot scattered on the floor like this. Is Ikea trying to send us a message, Canada?

Iftar

2009-08-31T01:37:00.006+03:00

Iftar is the meal when the fast is broken during Ramadan. Tonight hubster and I were treated to an awesome traditional Iftar buffet at the Marriott by our friends. Sorry guys, I would have taken pictures, but I'm bad at doing the I-didn't-know-that-was-a-rule face when security starts shouting at me. I could expand on this section but I will not. =)

This was my first time having some of the 'national' food. We've had lebanese food before, and I'm sure a lot of the dishes could be classified generally as 'middle eastern' but hey. To me it was mostly new. Some things I've never had before - date juice - "Jalab". MMMmm that was good. It wasn't too sweet, which was nice, and I had 3 cups of it. Dates are commonly the first food that a muslim will break their fast with, so of course I had a couple of those too. There was a lot of delicious grilled meat - lamb, chicken, beef, though no camel, and of course no bacon. A ton of different types of appetizers and salads, and all kinds of dessert. Many of the traditional desserts seem to be coated with some kind of sugary syrup that makes your teeth hurt. But that's okay, right? 'Cause who needs teeth? My favourite by far was the Um Ali, otherwise known as Ali's mom. Let me tell you - Ali's mom tastes like buttery creamy goodness with almonds on top. I will take Ali's mom home with me any day of the week. Don't ask hubster how he enjoyed dessert because all he got was fruit and a marshmallow. Hubster is on a diet and that's how he likes it, so don't feel sorry for him, because I don't. (I do a little but it's important that I don't show pity or he might cave) (it's okay he never reads this blog)

One kind of weird thing was that a clown showed up to dinner. This clown was all decked out in clown ecoutrements - you know, the wig, the big shoes, the crazy costume, the scary makeup. We were sitting in what seemed like a giant pile of screaming children, and as soon as the clown showed up you know what happened, right? I don't even have to tell you what happened because you already know that all the children started crying. Because let's face it, that's what clowns *really* do to children. We were told that it isn't the most common thing to see clowns around during Iftar(thank god, for the children) but that it does happen occasionally, since this is a festive time for everyone. No Santa, right? You gotta give the kids something I guess...

Speaking of kids - next post will be toys!

Ramadan

2009-08-17T12:47:00.007+03:00

It's a beautiful concept - like Christmas dinners for a month, I hear. People put up Christmas lights and last year when I peeked into some homes that were celebrating on my compound, everyone looked like they were having a great time. It was like that scene from Home Alone when Kevin watches the old shovel man reunite with his family through a window.

But for expats a lot of us are here without family and without our friends from home, what we see of Ramadan is that we can't eat in public during daylight for a month, the stores all keep even wonkier hours than they normally do, and there's chaos on the roads and in the malls in the evening. Because of this, many expats leave the country during this holiday, which leaves compounds deserted, and the remaining people sitting around wondering when everyone is coming back. Another trifle of inconvenience is wearing a headscarf. During this month in public, even non-muslim women are expected to cover their hair out of respect. Headscarves were specifically designed to fall off the head while you are holding groceries, so that people around you can give you dirty looks. Ahhh... Ramadan.

On the upside, we'll hopefully be having some people over who celebrate Ramadan during Iftar, the breaking of the fast. Looking forward to that! Hubster also has shortened hours, which is also a very good thing. There's always some kind of silver lining, right?

jet lagging it

2009-08-10T11:00:00.005+03:00

I've been bouncing between the world of the unconscious and reality. The last couple of trips I've had here I've been able to adjust pretty quickly, but now, a full one and a half weeks after my arrival, I've only had a couple full nights sleep. Either I sleep only for a few hours at night and then get up and putter around, or else I sleep for 12 hours and I get up and putter around. This means I've also been missing all the morning bus rides to get groceries and to go to souks and the like. Disappointing! Hopefully I'll get into the swing of things in the next week or so. I've been taking the odd antihistamine to help get to sleep, which works, but I don't want to deplete my supply in case something major happens, like if I get bitten by a muttawa and have an allergic reaction. No, I jest. But seriously, I can't get Benadryl here - they don't have even a generic brand of it. They have chlorphenirmine, which could be a good antihistimine....for me to poop on! No, I jest again. I suppose there's nothing wrong with chlorphenirmine and I could try it, I'm just used to Benadryl. So. I've been rationing my supply. Hubster says we should go buy some Ambien, which is a prescription product in the US, but is an ask-and-thou-shalt-receive product here. And I could always try melatonin or valerion here, I suppose... Or I could just do nothing, which I'm pretty good at doing according to my mother.

marhaban back

2009-08-07T04:38:00.003+03:00

I love to welcome myself back to the kingdom. It has been a nice week back on the compound and I've met a few new faces and said hello to some old ones. Each trip back gets a bit easier. I did a little bit of practice at the driving range at the Intercontinental this and managed to leave my abaya at home. Which is not the biggest deal, because you are allowed to be unsheathed on the golf course. But obviously I am still getting back into the swing of things here. Some people ask if you can get thrown in jail if you're not wearing an abaya in public spaces and the answer is no, but you *can* get harassed and stared at, which is every foreigner's dream come true. The good news is that they come in a variety of colours, ranging from jet black all the way to blue black, and all the black you can handle in between. You know what they say - "Black: it's the new rainbow."

I went to a maa salama party last night, which is basically a goodbye party. Riyadh is a transient place for many westerners and people come and go, quite often collecting on hardship postings and then returning home or jetting off to some other form of civilization. They are typically all-evening affairs and guests usually bring some kind of maa salama gift, often serving as a reminder of the person's time abroad. Or, if you are a guest like me and are suddenly informed of this custom in the car on the way to a maa salama, you bring a dolphin shaped balloon (that has nothing to do with anything) because that's all you could find at Riyadh Gallery, a mall that seems to sell women's clothing exclusively, and it would be even more (but not much more) ridiculous to bring women's clothing as a gift.

Anyhow, I thought it was interesting to begin my trip here with a goodbye. It was really kind of sad that it had to be that way because they were a very very nice couple, but at the same time everyone was happy for them to be moving on.

A little visitor

2009-08-02T03:57:00.004+03:00

Hello All, nice to see you again. I see there are some new comments on my blog, even while I've abandoned it completely to frolic in the non-summer of Toronto. Non-summer because Toronto was frightfully cold and damp while I was back, no doubt the man upstairs had known about my return and decided to vex me personally with all that rain. Anyhow, thanks very much to anyone who's dropped by and left a note.

I usually fly Emirates into the Kingdom and it always involves a lengthy unavoidable layover in Dubai before the 1.5 hr flight into Riyadh. Any Emirates layover that is longer than 8 hours and less than 24 results in a complimentary stay at their hotel in Dubai. It's not a bad hotel, it's really not. It's usually quite clean and good enough for its purposes. But this time in the middle of the night as I was engrossed in a TV movie, I had a little visitor.

The cockroach was about the size of my thumb, crawling across the floor. I don't know where he came from but I was panic stricken as I'm terribly scared of insects. The first thing I did was look through the drawer for a Bible of some sort, and then shook my head at myself for thinking there would be a Bible there. No matter, I found a much better weapon at my disposal: Mr. Phone Book. One swift throw across the room accompanied by a girly squeal from me, and that little sucker was squashed. I couldn't bring myself to clean it up because I'm very squeamish about this sort of thing.

In the daylight the maid came in and removed all traces of the gruesome murder. So that's how I'm starting my trip back to the Kingdom: as a deadly killer.

Saudis at our house

2009-05-27T04:08:00.001+03:00

Here's another old entry for ya!

So I'm still a bit surprised that we had a Saudi at our home last week, because it all happened so fast. A casual invitation turned into a serious one and a couple of Saudi men came over for a snack.

Ok, just a bit of background - Saudis and expats don't really mix socially very often - it happens, just it's not the most common thing. It's beyond a language barrier as many Saudis speak excellent English; it's a cultural divide. So, suffice it to say that I haven't really properly interacted with any Saudis here, especially not men. I was surprised to find myself fretting about the whole thing, and wondering the whole time what kinds of things would be rude to say, and what kinds of things would be halal. I worried about giving everyone a hearty handshake like I usually do in Canada. What kinds of cold cuts are on the platter? Would it be funny to say "mystery meat" to a Saudi?

I think the most interesting thing about this whole encounter was that the Saudis seemed a lot more comfortable with this visit than I did. It only took a few short months of zero contact with Saudi men to turn me into a bumbling jittery teenager around these men. It really makes me think about what it would be like to be born into this type of segregation. Does it make you think about it? Just think about it.

Riding the schoolbus

2009-05-13T17:19:00.002+03:00

This is an entry I wrote a couple months ago that I never posted:

Hello hello... no, I'm not taking the schoolbus to school, it's taking me shopping. Most compounds I know of provide this service for bored housewives. They take us to all the most popular malls and souks on a daily basis. My husband is reading over my shoulder right now and is correcting my spelling even though he is himself a notoriously bad typer. He also says it's important to have these buses because the women keep the house running. He said this in a machismo way, with his chest puffed out. How irritating to have this running commentary behind me. And he is still sitting here reading this. OK he just took a hint, got up, did something obscene, and left.

I can't imagine Riyadh without malls, though a guy from McDonalds told me that there were no malls when he showed up here in 2000. Riyadh without malls? That's like yin without yang...cowboys without chaps...John Travolta without disco... This morning, as I was about to hop on the bus, it occurred to me that the last time I was on a bus like this it was high school. If someone told me back then that the next schoolbus I would be riding was this one, my jaw would have dropped open. I also would have gotten up, done something obscene, and left.

Anyways, all this to say that the buses that take the ladies out of the compounds to the malls are a big part of compound life unless you have your own personal driver/ baby-sitter/dog walker/gardner. Blah blah blah, that's it.

where is mecca?

2009-05-12T00:03:00.003+03:00

During a layover in Dubai I noticed a dirty mark on the ceiling and as I lay in bed, I thought it over. What kind of hooligan makes stains on a ceiling? I put two and two together and a furniture move later, I was soon examining this sticker, up close and personal. You can make out a picture of Mecca and an arrow - I thought this was indeed a super-cool thing to find in a hotel, and as any consummate tourist would do I had to take a picture and post it. It made me stop for a moment and reflect on the state of spirituality in Canada. That moment was over pretty quickly when I heard the theme song of Friends playing on the TV. Oh Chandler you goof!

I hear the call to prayer

2009-05-05T07:37:00.003+03:00

I stay in a little apartment here in Toronto and I often leave the window open at night to let the air circulate. As such, I often hear the traffic in the streets below, the drunks yelling obscenities, and general random *bangs* in the night that I assume to be gunshots and hubster says are just mufflers going off. No, hubster, they are gunshots, I swear it by the hair of my chinny chin chin. Every once in a while as I am drifting off to sleep, I hear the call to prayer. Of course, it's not the real call to prayer - it's the bus station a block away announcing random stuff over the loudspeakers. But being in the blur of almost-sleep, I often find myself wondering in the midnight hours what country I am in! I wonder if this happens to all the expats when they go back to their homelands...

no pets

2009-05-02T20:08:00.003+03:00

One of the joys of taking a walk in Toronto, especially in the parks, is seeing people walking around with man's best friend. No, not a cellphone you senseless technophiles, it's called a "DOG". I've always wanted to own one myself, but these days I could never justify it, with all the travelling and living in small condos, it wouldn't be fair to the dog. I love seeing their wagging tails, their open mouths panting for a bit of bacon, their excitement at sniffing pools of urine...dogs are the BEST! But it's one thing you won't see on the streets in Riyadh. As of July of 2008 Riyadh banned dog walking and also the sale of cats and dogs in an effort to curb the scandalous flirtations between unmarried men and women that were occurring in pet shops and streets all over the city. http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory?id=5490035

So, a tip for all you singles in Toronto out there - get a dog and join your local dog community - if it worked (so well that it became illegal) for Saudis, it can work for you!

parboiled rice - a crime against humanity?

2009-04-28T17:50:00.001+03:00

I'm not sure if we have this brand of rice in Canada, but I thought some of you might appreciate, or might *not* appreciate, seeing this particular rice manufacturer's logo. This brand seems to be in every grocery store here, though I can't recall ever seeing it in Toronto. I had to laugh when I first saw this because parboiled rice is already offensive enough on its own without a terrible yellow cartoon slapped on it. They say it's more nutritious, but I say it's doing a global disservice to proper rice. Because now, when people think about rice, they could think "Uncle Ben" instead of jasmine or basmati. Real rice is insulted by the very existence of the parboiled stuff. It's the ultimate cardinal sin!!!

Yes, I'll have that doughnut, and that one too.

2009-04-23T07:34:00.003+03:00

So another thing you might not know about Saudi Arabia is that they have a wide selection of sticky treats to feed the sugar craving of even the rottiest-toothed kid. The two most popular western ones that seem to crop up a lot are doughnuts and cinnabuns. It seems every foodcourt in malls has one or the other. I have noticed that when I have been at malls in the mornings, these are the only kinds of restaurants open for business. Them and MacDonald's.

I wanted to mention that I often seem to get discounts at donut shops for no apparent reason, other than that I am a foreigner. There is a unique form of kinship that develops in Riyadh that allows strangers to reach out to each other, and propels them to toss extra donuts in bags, or charge a little less for hamburgers. Now that I am not in the thick of things, I do miss that a little bit, because I think we could all use a little more solidarity, whether or not we are expats in a crazy city, or office workers on Bay street.

By the way, I'm sure you all recognized that logo, and for those of you who did not, here it is in english ;)

A run-down on Kingdom Mall

2009-04-23T07:07:00.001+03:00

I'm still a bit undecided about whether I like this mall or not.

The Kingdom Mall has a sort of bizarre architecture to the inside. It's an oblong/oval shape, so in the middle of the mall on the bottom floor, you have a few booths sitting on their own, but then the rest of it is a massive waste of space. Because of the shape of the mall, there aren't actually that many stores in this mall, in comparison to others. There are also pod-like structures lining the railings on each floor, jutting out into the centre; they are actually stores. But you can't see what they sell until you actually enter them. Visibility is a continuously obnoxious issue in the mall, because sometimes the pods look like elevators, and you can't get a good view of signage because the pods are in the way. If you are at the mall more than once during a one week period, you will come to hate the pods. The mall also has such expensive brands in it that I rarely emerge from Kingdom with any shopping bags.

On the other hand, this mall boasts a women's only top floor, where women are allowed to take their abayas off, so it makes it a good place for women to come and have coffee. Some women like to come here to the Debenhams to buy lingerie because of the all-female staff and the presence of changerooms. They have a huge slection of bras. You could browse through the F sizes, F for "Freaking humungous knockers"....

The food court has a good Iranian restaurant and while service is slow, it's usually pretty yummy. The Kodak is another useful store located on the main floor. So basically this is a good place to buy yourself a bra to hold in your enormous chest, which you then wear to the foodcourt for Iranian food, which you then take pictures of, and develop at the Kodak. Now you have seen and done everything there is to do at Kingdom.

Red Sands hashing

2009-04-15T06:59:00.002+03:00

Before I left Saudi, some friends of ours were kind enough to let us tag along with them for a nice walk out in the desert. I've blogged about hashing in the past, though I've never mentioned how many locations these people have staked out - I'm pretty sure it's in the hundreds. There are some real dedicated hashers out there committed to finding new spots, who really pour time into organizing. Some of them spend a whole day slicing fruit for the refreshment stations. You have bossy hashers, you have full time hashers, part time hashers, old hashers, young hashers...

I'm the kind that is very part time and very lazy. On a hash, there are usually varying levels of difficulty so that everyone is accommodated. There are difficult/long walks which go over hills, and there are easy/short walks that stay on flat terrain. This particular hash, I wimped out and did the short walk citing a cold (I was truly sick, but then again, I am also truly wimpy), and as I watched those suckers pile up those sandy dunes, I knew I made the right choice, even if 50 people went up the hill and only 6 walked the short one. Later on, I watched as a whole smate of the initially brave shuffled down the hills halfway through to take the rest of the way on the easy path. At least I have no delusions of grandeur.

I think one of the best parts of hashing is the relaxation part, where people sit around, start fires and have snacks. You may not know this about Saudis, but many of them are into the camping scene out in the desert. Saudis love a good campfire as much as Canadians. All the grocery stores have the necessary campfire accoutrements - the snazzy grilling gear, burners, and what not. The first time I saw that section in a grocery store I was utterly confused by where they were taking these items until Hubster explained it all to me. What would I do without Hubster talking in my ear all day? I'd just fall down and die of boredom.

Saturday morning in Toronto

2009-04-11T17:31:00.007+03:00

So I had a nice drive back from my parents house down to my place downtown this morning. I felt like Stranger in a Strange Land this morning. First thing I noticed this morning was that I was driving a car. What is this, driving-a-car business? I could get used to it! Then I noticed that there was a four way stop and everyone knew when it was their turn to go. How did they know that? Then, when I got on the highway, everyone stayed in their own lanes, and no one tried to swerve into my lane to kill me. I also turned on the radio and listened to an interview with Jian Ghomeshi about Billy Bob Thornton being a total self-indulgent crazy. I really like hearing news about how insane Billy Bob is. It makes my day. I was at a stoplight and looked over into the next car, so I could see the driver and make up stories to myself about where she permed her hair while I listened to Beyonce on the radio. I admired the different types of buildings on my way into the city, and the various homeless people hanging out at Coffee Time. Hello yuppy in dress clothes on a weekend. Hello girl with a small dog. Hello hippy with dirty hair. Hello hello hello!

leaving the Kingdom...and IKEA

2009-04-08T16:06:00.004+03:00

Yes, it's true, I'm going back to my homeland, glorious and free, oh Canada, we stand on guard for theeee! Who was singing with me? Hmm? No takers? Don't recognize our anthem? Shame on you. Anyways, I've decided it won't be the end of my posting, as people seem to be visiting this blog regularly. I don't know who most of you strange people are, but I feel a weird affection for you, so I'll be going through my pics from the past couple of months and posting about all the things I forgot to post about, and whatever happens in Canada that reminds me of this place.

Well you might be wondering what I've been doing with my last week here. It has been a flurry of decorating as the hubster has a very quiet way of making me feel compelled to do things. He is a master manipulater disguised as a do-gooder, and I bow down to him. The majority of my time has been spent at IKEA, and alternatively, at home assembling things, and waiting for maintenance to show up to hang stuff on the walls and watching with interest as 5 men speaking different languages carried a huge TV cabinet down a flight of stairs. I can tell the maintenance receptionist is tired of hearing my voice on the phone.

IKEA tips in Riyadh:
1. Go in the morning before prayers at noon to avoid horrendous traffic later
2. Multiply your budget by three. IKEA is so cheap you suddenly find yourself needing more stuff and rationalize how inexepensive each item is. Your conscience is silenced by pretty colours and cute little bright things, and then you get the kiss of death at the cash register.
3. Bring a functioning credit card. If your credit card does not work, do not assume they can input another card manually, because they will look at you and say "no m'am." When you insist they try, every cashier will look at you and they will all shake their heads simultaneously at you.
4. Instead of cheap hotdogs, buy cheap schwarmas instead

A Kodak Moment

2009-04-05T18:02:00.003+03:00

As promised, I'm fulfilling my duty to my faithful readers about the Kodak at Kingdom Mall. I know you have all just been squirming in your seats waiting for this. I've visited twice and they get an A+ from me. The prices are as one would expect with a photo shop: e.g. 25 riyals for an 8x12 blowup, 2 riyals per 4x6 and more importantly, the two people running the shop both speak excellent English, so it is not difficult to communicate with them. I was grateful to be able to get some pics printed off my USB stick. I know this shouldn't be a big deal, but for some reason I was expecting something to go wrong, and because nothing went wrong and ran as it should have, I was ecstatic. I think it's Riyadh Syndrome, where anything that runs properly is officially labeled "amazing" in your head. During today's visit I got the Palestinian shopkeeper's rundown on how he was born in Saudi but does not hold the Saudi Passport, and how it's different in the middle east from Canada. His sidekick then said with a smirk that it's difficult to be Palestinian, then he laughed a little at his own joke. Then I started laughing at his snickering - that was our Kodak Moment. The service was fast and painless, so I recommend it; yesterday we had four 8x12's done in an hour, and today nine 6x8's done in 20 minutes, and both delivered in the time frame they gave. They do passport pictures in the back as well as kids photos, and cocaine (are you still awake?). Hours are 9:30am-noon & 4:30pm-10:15pm Fri-Tues, and 10:00am-10:15pm Wed & Thurs.

Flooding in the Kingdom

2009-04-04T05:03:00.002+03:00

It has been a rainy rainy couple of days in Riyadh. The weather has been downright wonky for the past month. So, in addition to sandstorms, this country also offers the traditional form of weather havoc, and that's heavy rain. It was nothing short of surprising for me to be in an SUV, being driven through water a foot high on dips in the road. There's not a lot of grass & soil around these parts to help soak up some of that water, and certainly no drainage systems like what we have in Toronto that collect it during rains like these. As a result, a downpour like the one we saw today turns traffic into a slow moving sort of chaos. Like chaos is wading through water. For anyone who thinks that SUV's are a big waste of everything, this is one situation where you don't want to be that sucker driving a sedan.

German Embassy officially better than mine

2009-03-31T00:42:00.006+03:00

Tonight my hubby and I went to the German Embassy for a concert by Karlsruher Konzert-Duo http://www.konzertduo.de/ and we had a wonderful time. We're not much into classical music, but I think they managed to pick interesting pieces that would appeal to novices as well as the more cerebral bunch. Our fave for the night was Hungarian Dance No.1 in G Minor - very moody and atmospheric music, and something about the sound of a cello really fills a room. The musicians were received so well at the very end that they did a couple of encores for us which was great. In the picture below, the cellist is wondering just how starved people are here for live music.

Besides the great music, this was our first time at the German embassy here in Riyadh, and while it's not big, it's somehow much nicer than everyone else's embassies. With rocky ponds worked into their landscaping, and a classy looking garden replete with a quiet fountain, it put the giant beaver sculpture in the Canadian embassy to shame. Let's face it, there's no way to make a beaver sculpture look elegant, is there?

They served hors d'oeuvres after the concert and I had missed dinner and had marshmallows for lunch (for reasons we won't go into), so I was dying for food. When I saw the first tray come out it was like something out of "When Animals Attack"...I know it's not rational, but when I'm really hungry at events like these, I believe in the bottom of my heart that they're going to run out of food, and that I have to have my fill before that happens. Well after about the 10th or 15th bitesized morsel had been digested, I was starting to feel a bit heavy, and then embarrassed because all the waiters had turned their antennae on and kept passing by me, smiling and offering more, telling me that they had been looking for me, or following me, or telling me to save room for dessert.

This event got a big thumbs up from me. I'm looking forward to more from the German Embassy.

Photography in Riyadh (?) ...and PIES (!)

2009-03-26T23:39:00.011+03:00

I've been bluntly told a little while ago that my assistance is required with decorating the house before I leave to go for a visit to Canada. This was after some more gentle nudging and hinting (e.g. "I wish this would look more like a home..." >big sigh<) a couple months ago. Normally I would scoff at this but without gainful employment and not much else to do, I agree that this would be something constructive for me to work on. The hubster wants pictures up on the walls, which would be great, I agree. But the thing is, it's not like there's a ton of photo developers here. I've seen one Kodak studio in Kingdom Mall and that's it - I suppose I'll go investigate. Taking photographs of Saudis is taboo for religious reasons so my guess is that there's not a lot of demand for these services, which is a shame for someone like me that always comes home with hundreds of pics from vacations. I confess I still get a little confused by the whole photograph issue for the locals. Most photographs I know of are not being used in shrines with incense and candles, except for the one of me taken immediately after winning the World Pie Eating Contest - so what's the big deal? The lack of photo developers seems to be made up with printing services at malls that put photos on mugs and t-shirts. The samples are all of people, mostly kids, on these really tasteless coasters and the like. I also just saw an advertisement for a Saudi movie, starring what appear to be Saudis on the television, which added to the confusion of what's taboo and what's not. I'm assuming it's based on how conservative you are, and that these movie makers must be running wild like heathens with their cameras.

ok I really can't resist writing about the pie eating contest. It's held annually in a bar in Wigan, England and has recently been plagued with problems. In 2006, bowing to health lobbies and "relentless pressure from the Vegetarian Society" (those vicious vegetarians!!!) the rules were changed to concentrate on speed alone, i.e. how long it takes you to eat just one pie, rather than a volume based challenge. Plus, they added a vegetarian pie, which added insult to injury and pissed a lot of pie people off. In 2007, a dog ate all the pies, and in 2008 a junior pastry chef made all the pies using inches instead of centimetres and ended up with "giant" pies.

Can't wait to find out what calamity will befall the contest this year.

Saudi taxi driver 'learns' a lesson

2009-03-24T08:31:00.006+03:00

We have just returned from a vacation abroad and I have to share with you a saudi story about our travels. On our first attempt to leave the country we realized at customs that we were missing our saudi visas and we had to retrieve them quickly. We normally would have called a driver but couldn't afford to wait for one to arrive so we decided to take a taxi from the airport to our destination 10 minutes away. A saudi taxi driver approached us first out of a whole mob of drivers and led us to his car where he started putting our bags in the trunk. Before opening the car door I insisted on coming to a price, though he kept trying to get us into the taxi. He finally quietly quoted an exorbitant 80 riyals, to which I offered a more reasonable (and still overpriced) 50 riyals because we were in a rush. Unbelievably, he said no to this with about 30 other drivers watching the whole thing and ready for business. So we removed the bags and just went to the next car, much to his dismay. Upon returning to the same airport about 2 weeks later on our way home, the same taxi driver was hawking his services to us again. Comically, he remembered us and kept repeating "ok ok 50 riyals, 50 riyals" to us, but our driver was already on his way so we had to decline. I'd like to say we taught him a little lesson in free markets and dealing with foreigners, but I'm really not so naive...

What do you eat?

2009-03-23T00:49:00.004+03:00

I get asked this question more than you might think because it usually comes from an acquaintance just after an initial shock of being told that I have been whiling my days away in Saudi Arabia. We eat a lot of home cooking, meals at the compound restaurant, and other restaurants in the city. General strong suits are Indian and Lebanese. I have never tried Arabian food because my husband described it to me and it sounds unappetizing. The one time I tried to arrange for it and get directions by phone I ended up throwing a book at the wall. Believe me, if I get there, I'll tell you about it. There's a terrible proliferation of fast food here and many locals and expats end up eating a lot of french fries - it's really disgusting and I feel greasy just typing this. The standard of east asian food is not at the quality level and value that you get in Toronto. So for all you readers out in Toronto I want you to know that you are 100% spoiled rotten! One positive about grocery shopping here is that since I am doing my duties while my hubby is at work, no one is around to gripe about how long I'm taking to pick vegetables or to ask where the soy milk is even though I am clearly not staff. Downsides? Difficult to find certain spices and flavourings (e.g. montreal steak spice, tamarind juice, wasabi) and my favourite soft drink: I really miss Canada Dry Ginger Ale. Please drink that and think of me.

p.s. http://www.britishcommunityservices.com has a good selection of restaurant reviews; it's actually a good all round site for getting an idea of what it's like to live here and what some of the popular western compounds look like. On top of that you can purchase financial advice and quiches from "Bill" and "Leah"...hey if you have a good website, why not sell your quiches right?

Intercontinental Oasis

2009-03-15T21:00:00.002+03:00

One of the nice parts of this city is the Intercontinental Hotel - it has a nice oasis-like atmosphere to it where you forget you are in Saudi Arabia. The grounds are lush and very well kept. They have a small driving range there that I like to go practice on during the day when it is empty. The most disheartening and distracting thing I find at driving ranges are children half your size sending those balls sailing 150 yards straight down the line. When you're doing really badly, you just want to snap their mini-golf clubs in two. Thankfully there's no little Tigers running around especially during the day at this hotel. Here are some pictures of the grounds. Hmm...I have to work on posting a picture of their sad little driving range. It doesn't bother me so much because I can only hit the balls a certain sad little distance.